The Art and Practice of Taking Up Space: A Journey for Women of Color

Taking up space means giving yourself permission to express your thoughts, feelings, boundaries, and anything else that feels authentic to you. It’s about rewriting cultural norms that have confined you to a prison of “shoulds” and “need-tos,” pulling you away from deeply trusting yourself.

Why is Taking Up Space Hard?

For many women of color, taking up space is challenging due to societal pressures and cultural expectations. We are often taught to be obedient and submissive and serve others, usually learning it is ok to put our needs last and rarely voice our concerns about that. In addition, external power struggles and internalized beliefs, particularly when intertwined with trauma, make it difficult to see our value and accept the attention that comes with taking up space.

If you are of a marginalized identity, you might find yourself making an effort to fit in and not be “found out.” This could manifest in various ways, like avoiding negotiating at work, accepting the opinions of others even though it makes no damn sense, allowing those in perceived authority to interrupt you, or swallowing your thoughts and emotions in relationships for fear of conflict. There are countless subtle ways that shrinking back, playing safe, or remaining hidden can appear in your life, often without conscious awareness.

The world (and sometimes our own narrative) has often conditioned us to believe that it’s safer to be small and quiet as women. But as we’ve come to understand, shrinking to fit into preconceived molds only serves to disrupt our potential.

Why Practice is Essential

In the Mindset Collective, our membership community for women of color, we explore the importance of practicing the concept of taking up space. (Join us here!) By actively engaging with this idea, we start to unravel the limitations placed on us by societal expectations and personal insecurities. This is a journey of self-discovery and empowerment that requires consistent effort and practice.

The practice of taking up space is about more than just being seen and heard. It’s about reclaiming our right to exist fully and authentically. Life presents us with unexpected challenges, and by practicing the art of taking up space, we equip ourselves with the tools to not just survive but thrive.

Consider Simone Biles, who honored her emotions by withdrawing from the Tokyo Olympics to prioritize her mental health. Her decision, initially met with criticism, was a powerful statement of self-awareness and self-care.

Fast-forward to this year’s Olympics in Paris, where she returned with renewed confidence and strength and dominated her field. Biles’ journey teaches us that taking up space often requires making bold choices that honor our well-being.

Similarly, Sha’Carri Richardson faced intense scrutiny and judgment, grappling with personal challenges and public expectations. Her journey back to the track was marked by resilience and growth. Richardson returned with a powerful presence, embodying both humility and strength. Her story is a reminder that taking up space sometimes means confronting our mistakes and emerging stronger.

Even Kamala Harris, as Vice President, navigates the complexities of her role in a landscape that often tries to minimize the voices of women of color. Her journey represents the ongoing challenge of taking up space in positions of power and influence.

I’m personally looking forward to the 2024 Olympics and the Track and Field events, where we get to see the resilience and strength of athletes like Richardson. Their stories inspire us to rise above the challenges that try to subdue us as women, especially those of us who are marginalized.

How Can We Take Up Space?

So, how do we take up space? Taking up space is about more than physical presence; it’s about asserting your right to be seen and heard in a world that often tries to silence you. It’s intentional acts that need to be practiced.

Here are a few ways you can start practicing this concept:

1. Embrace Your Emotions: Don’t shy away from expressing how you feel. Whether it’s joy, anger, or sadness, acknowledging and voicing your emotions is a powerful act of self-validation.
2. Speak Up: Whether in a meeting, a social gathering, or even online, practice sharing your thoughts and ideas. Your voice matters, and your perspective is valuable.
3. Set Boundaries: Protect your energy and time by establishing clear boundaries. Where do you need to set a boundary in your life today? Create an action step for it.
4. Rest: Knowing when it’s time to pull back and restore your energy is also key. We don’t always have to keep pushing (or at least out loud). Take time to give yourself what you need so you can thrive when the opportunity comes.

Now, it’s your turn. How are you taking up space in your life? Share your experiences or intentions in the comments. I would love to see the different ways we practice taking up space.

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R is a Licensed Psychotherapist, Speaker, and Mindset Coach for high-achieving women leaders and entrepreneurs. Her joy is tackling mental health on multiple platforms and you can learn more about her at: http://www.amandafludd.com.

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