Category: Therapy

EMDR Therapy Therapy Black Therapist in NYC • Black Women & Mental Health • EMDR Therapy • overthinking • Therapy for Anxiety • trauma therapy April 1, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Why Old Wounds Still Hurt (Even When You Thought You Moved On)

Life spoiler alert.

You can be doing well in your life—career, family, responsibilities—and still find yourself reacting in ways that don’t make sense… aka, acting an emotional fool.

You get triggered.
And suddenly it feels big, emotional, and hard to control, like the world has wronged you, or you’re the one in the wrong and now don’t deserve the best out of life.

It’s like a full throwback moment—everything activating at once like Captain Planet and the Planeteers.
Your thoughts, emotions, old beliefs, overwhelm… all combining like:

“By your powers combined… we are your childhood wounds.”

All of that… from one moment.

Not because what just happened was that serious…
But because something deeper got activated.

When It’s Not Just About What Happened

Here’s what most people don’t realize:

When you’re triggered, you’re not just reacting to what’s happening in that moment; instead, it could be that your mind is reaching for the difficult things you carry that no one sees, but your brain still remembers.

Your reactions have deep stories.

Something in the moment feels familiar, like the tone of a supervisor, the judgmental look of your partner, the way someone responded, or even the feeling of being dismissed. And before you can catch what is happening, your nervous system connects to those older experiences, and unexpected things resurface.

It’s subtle, but powerful.

All of a sudden, it’s not just about the conversation you’re having. It starts to feel like something bigger is at stake. Like you’re not safe. Like you’re about to be embarrassed. Like you’re not enough, your needs don’t matter, or you don’t belong.

And that’s the part that catches people off guard.

Because on the outside, the moment might seem small. But internally, your body is responding to something that feels much more significant. Your brain is pulling from a stored memory—not just the present moment.

That’s a trauma response, friends, and it’s happening more than you realize. That’s why your reaction can feel so strong, so fast, and sometimes even confusing.

How Most People Handle Triggers

Most people fall into one of two patterns:

1. Avoidance

“I don’t want to go there.”
“I’m not dealing with that.”

You avoid the conversation, the feeling, or the person. Sometimes you may even freeze, where you lose your thoughts or words, disconnect from the moment and hardly feel present in your body, or get so overwhelmed with panic, you can’t show up the way you want.

And honestly—this makes sense, because triggers are uncomfortable. However, when you avoid the trigger, you also avoid the healing connected to it.

2. Confronting (but without support)

Some people say:

“I’m ready. I just need to deal with it.”

And that matters.

But going back alone can feel overwhelming or lead to reliving the experience rather than resolving it. You really need a good set of resources to help you emotionally and with the logistics of resolution.

Why You Go From 0 to 100 So Fast

This is the part that’s hard to understand.

Why do I feel like this?
Why did I react like that?
This wasn’t even that serious.
Why can’t I handle this better?

It’s the moment panic creeps in before a meeting.
When it suddenly feels like people are against you.
When you look up and realize it’s been years since you’ve moved toward what you actually want.

And you can’t quite explain how you got there.

Your body responded. Quickly. Quietly. Automatically.

But it wasn’t random.
It was your system pulling from something deeper—an older imprint, a familiar feeling, a moment your body hasn’t fully let go of yet.

So no, you’re not doing too much. You’re responding to more than what’s visible. And when you begin to understand that, something shifts. The question moves from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What is this connected to?” That’s where healing begins. That’s where you start showing up not just as the version of you that copes, but as the version of you that feels grounded, clear, and fully in control of herself again.

Why EMDR Therapy Can Help

And this is the work.

Not just understanding yourself, but actually having the space and support to work through what’s underneath those reactions so they don’t keep showing up the same way.

Because insight alone doesn’t always change the response. You can know exactly why you feel the way you do and still find yourself reacting the same way in the moment.

EMDR therapy helps your brain process what’s been stored, so those triggers don’t hit as hard or take over as quickly. You’re not just talking about it. You’re actually helping your system understand and release it. This is the freedom so many of our clients experience.

When you begin to answer that deeper question, things don’t land the same. You feel more grounded, confident, clear, and more like yourself again.

If you’re ready for that kind of work, we’d love to support you.

Work With Us – Kensho Psychotherapy (Lynbrook, NY)

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we specialize in working with high-functioning adults who feel:

Stuck in overthinking
Emotionally overwhelmed
Reactive in ways they don’t fully understand

We offer:

📍 Located in Lynbrook, NY
💻 Virtual therapy available across New York State

We currently have in-person and virtual therapy openings available.

If you’re ready to stop managing the same patterns and actually work through them, you can reach out to get started.

Common Questions

Who is EMDR therapy for?

EMDR is helpful for individuals dealing with anxiety, trauma, overthinking, self-sabotage, perfectionism, emotional triggers, and patterns that feel hard to break—even when you understand them logically.

Do you offer regular therapy or only intensives?

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we offer both. Many clients work with us for anxiety, stress, relationship challenges, and life transitions through ongoing therapy or choose intensives for more focused work. EMDR is where healing can happen in a shorter period of time.

Do you only work with women?

We primarily work with high-functioning women—especially Black and Brown professionals—but we also see men, couples, and some teens and young adults navigating anxiety, identity, and life in the practice. It’s best to give us a call, and we can discuss your situation and best fit.

Where are you located?

We are based in Lynbrook, NY, and serve clients across Nassau County, Valley Stream, and nearby NYC. We also offer virtual therapy throughout New York State.

Do you accept insurance?

Kensho Psychotherapy accepts insurance for ongoing therapy, including plans such as Aetna, 1199, Northwell Direct, Oxford, UHC, Optum, Cigna, and Lyra. We also work with clients who choose to pay privately.

EMDR intensives are not covered by insurance due to the specialized format and extended session times. These sessions are designed to go deeper in a shorter period of time and are offered as a private pay service.

Current EMDR Intensive rates:

$300 for 90 minutes
$600 for 3 hours
$1200 for 6 hours or a full-day intensive

If you’re unsure what makes the most sense for you, we’re happy to walk you through your options when you reach out.

Want to Learn More First?

If you’d rather understand how EMDR Intensives work before reaching out, you can watch the full video where I break this down in more detail.

👉 What Happens When Your Past Has A Grip On Your Present

If you are ready to book a therapy appointment, just leave your details HERE.

Amanda Fludd is a licensed trauma therapist, executive coach, and the founder of Kensho Psychotherapy in Lynbrook, NY, where she works with high-functioning women navigating anxiety, overthinking, and emotional overwhelm. Her work blends trauma-informed therapy with practical, real-life insight to help clients move beyond coping and into clarity.

She offers EMDR intensives through Kensho Psychotherapy, while her team also provides ongoing therapy for anxiety, stress, relationships, and life transitions.

Book now!!

Black and white pen-and-ink illustration of a young girl with braids and backpack standing beside her older self with an afro, hoop earrings, and a structured handbag, alongside the quote: “Sometimes trauma isn’t what happened to you. It’s what you had to become to survive it.” Symbolizing high functioning trauma. Kenshopsychotherapy Psychotherapy.

Anxiety Therapy Trauma Healing • Therapy February 20, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy in Lynbrook, NY | Kensho Psychotherapy

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy For the Strong Ones

If you are the strong one—the capable one—the one everyone leans on—you may not look like someone who needs therapy.

You’re accomplished. Responsible. Often the firstborn. Often the dependable one. You push through. You pray through. You handle things.

But inside, your thoughts don’t slow down.

At Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook, NY, we specialize in trauma and anxiety therapy for high-functioning women and professionals across Nassau County, Valley Stream, and neighboring Queens communities. Many of our clients are Afro-Caribbean, first-generation, or raised in families where strength was expected, and emotional needs were secondary.

For Ambitious Women Who Carry Too Much

Most of the women who thrive in our space are in their late 30s, 40s, or approaching another milestone year, and often mid- to high-level professionals. Some are parents. Some are preparing to become parents. Many are navigating career growth, leadership roles, family expectations, their personal goals, quiet worries, fading dreams, and familial responsibilities simultaneously.

From the outside, everything looks so good.

But for most, inside feels heavy.

You may feel pressure to be grateful because you’ve achieved so much. You may have grown up hearing messages like:

“Push through.”
“Pray through.”
“You should be fine.”
“You have so much going for you.”

But strength without space to process becomes exhaustion.

Anxiety becomes the language your body uses when unprocessed grief, disappointment, responsibility, or old wounds don’t have anywhere to go.

When Anxiety Is More Than Just Overthinking

Many clients come to us thinking they just have anxiety.

They describe:

Constant overthinking
Racing thoughts
Difficulty sleeping
Panic in high-stakes moments
Feeling like they can’t relax even when nothing is wrong

As we begin therapy, we often uncover deeper layers.

Anxiety sometimes connects to:

Childhood pressure to perform
Being the firstborn who had to “get it right,” or “do all the things.”
Emotional invalidation
Unspoken family expectations
Experiences of not being defended
Sacrifices that were never acknowledged

What first looked like anxiety may include trauma, grief, or long-standing emotional patterns. And baybe, we are here for all of it!

Trauma That Doesn’t Always Look Like Trauma

Not all trauma is dramatic.

Sometimes it is:

The disappointment you swallowed
The expectations that shaped your identity
The grief you never processed
The loss of who you were before responsibility took over

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we create a safe space for those layers to unfold. We use evidence-based approaches, including EMDR and cognitive therapy, or somatic work and mindfulness when appropriate, to help work through trauma without re-traumatizing you.

We move at your pace. We just bring the tools to do the heavy lifting.

Therapy That Is Warm, Direct, and Grounded in the Craft

We are not a factory-style clinic. We are also not performative “Instagram therapy.”

Our therapists are seasoned, culturally attuned women—many with Afro-Caribbean backgrounds—who value the craft of therapy.

What that means for you:

Warmth without coddling
We can kick it, but you will give you homework
Depth without theatrics
Structure without rigidity
Professionalism and a deep respect for confidentiality

We take time to understand your full story. We help you organize your thoughts. We reflect patterns you may not see. We slow things down so you can hear yourself clearly and bring in the tools to help you do the work and heal faster.

Serving Lynbrook, Valley Stream, Nassau County & Nearby Queens

Our office is located in Lynbrook, NY, and we serve clients throughout Nassau County, including Valley Stream, as well as nearby Queens neighborhoods such as Cambria Heights and Rosedale. But since we also offer virtual therapy, we can support clients across New York State, like Brooklyn and beyond.

If you have been searching for:

Trauma therapy in Lynbrook
Anxiety therapy in Valley Stream
EMDR therapy in Nassau County
Black therapist or Caribbean therapist in NY
Culturally competent therapy near Queens

You are in the right place.

What to Expect When You Reach Out

You can call our office or complete the consultation request form online. We will contact you to:

Review your insurance and discuss deductibles or out-of-network options
Answer your initial questions
Help you determine if we are the right fit

We want you to have your questions answered before committing to therapy.

Ready to Begin?

If you are tired of holding everything together…

If anxiety is louder than it used to be…

If old experiences are starting to surface…

Trauma and anxiety therapy at Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook can help you untangle what feels overwhelming and reconnect with who you are beneath the pressure.

We currently have limited in-person openings in Lynbrook and virtual availability across New York.

👉 Book a consultation or contact our office today at 347-868-7813.

NYC Therapist Personal Growth Therapy Trauma EMDR Therapy • Is it trauma? • therapy for Black women • trauma and perfectionism • trauma therapist near me • trauma therapy January 13, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

trauma-therapy-intensive-nyc-and-long-island

Trauma & PTSD Therapy in NYC, NY & Long Island, NY Heal the past, settle into the present, and reclaim your life.

Trauma therapy for adults dealing with trauma, performance anxiety, overwhelming stress, growing up the oldest, Caribbean parents, or with PTSD. Therapy for trauma is offered in person in Lynbrook, NY, and online across New York City and New York State, and EMDR Trauma Intensives.

I’m Ready.

Feeling stuck?

Living with trauma can feel like you’re trapped in a cycle your mind understands, but your body won’t let go of.

You may be doing “all the right things” — praying, journaling, talking it out, even going to therapy — and still feel triggered, overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally shut down. That’s because trauma doesn’t only live in your thoughts. Trauma lives in the nervous system.

And when your nervous system is still on alert, it can feel like you’re always bracing for something — even when nothing is happening.

This is why trauma symptoms often show up as:

chronic body tension or pain
anxiety or panic responses
difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
feeling constantly on edge or emotionally shut down
irritability, reactivity, or sudden overwhelm
feeling disconnected from yourself or others

Book an appointment

Many people don’t realize they’re dealing with trauma symptoms because it doesn’t always look like flashbacks or start with the typical events like sexual abuse or physical abuse.

It can look like:

people-pleasing, perfectionism, or over-functioning
feeling numb, disconnected, or emotionally “flat”
trouble sleeping, nightmares, or waking up tired
chronic tension in the body (tight chest, jaw, shoulders, stomach)
feeling unsafe in relationships — even when someone hasn’t done anything wrong
intrusive memories or racing thoughts
trouble with authority or communicating needs without hurting others

You may look “high-functioning” on the outside, but inside, you feel exhausted. On edge. Guarded. Or like you’re only half-living.

You deserve more than survival mode.

If you’ve been searching for trauma therapy near a trauma therapist who understands the mind-body connection, or me, growing up Caribbean or the black experience, you’re not alone, and support is available with our practice, Kensho Psychotherapy Services, with virtual and in-person therapy available. Healing doesn’t require reliving the past. It requires the right approach, good coping tools, at the right pace, with the right support. Whether it is traditional psychotherapy or EMDR therapy, which changes your relationship to trauma.

Trauma therapy and EMDR Intensives in Long Island, NY, help you change that relationship and feel more in control of your life.

For details on booking your next therapy session, start here.

Additional Reads:

What Got You This Far, Can’t Carry You

Dear Self, It’s Not Time to Panic Journal

How EMDR Therapy Helps Untangle These Patterns

EMDR Therapy Therapy Trauma black girl healing • EMDR • trauma therapy • trauma tools • window of tolerance September 23, 2025 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Understanding the Window of Tolerance: Why Therapy Sometimes Feels Hard

Sometimes healing feels harder than we expect. You sit down in therapy, determined to work on yourself, and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by emotions—or, on the other hand, you feel nothing at all. That’s not failure. It’s your nervous system doing what it was designed to do: protect you.

Trauma therapists refer to this as the Window of Tolerance, a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. You can think about it as your target emotional zone. Our goal is to keep you on the right target- the place where you can safely feel and think without being knocked out by overwhelm or shut down completely when triggered, or stressed.

What Is the Window of Tolerance?

Your brain and body are designed to help you avoid danger at all costs. When the brain and body believe it is in danger (even if it's not accurate) to protect you, your nervous system will automatically kick you into one of these areas:

Hyperarousal (too high, aka fight/flight): Anxiety, catastrophic thinking (like something bad will happen), sleep issues, thoughts won’t stop racing, irritable, restless, can't focus, you overwork to avoid feelings. You may look driven and productive, but it's fueled by fear/stress. May experience tightness in the chest or shoulders, tension in the jaw, stomach, back pain, or other areas of the body, or pain.

Hypoarousal (too low, aka freeze/fawn: You feel numb, detached, stay in bed longer than you want to, avoid calls, procrastinate, shop/drink/smoke to escape feelings, check out emotionally when things get hard, or feel emotionally detached. Avoidance of trauma themes, focusing on others instead of self, and long silences. Smiling, agreeable, still "on top of things" outwardly - but internally disconnected and drained. You often hear yourself saying, "I don't know" or "it is what it is." Typically experience brain fog, fatigue, and difficulty moving.

Window of tolerance (Target Zone): You feel grounded, calm, and can manage stress. You can experience insight without intellectualizing, and emotions are expressed without overwhelm. You can maintain a relaxed posture and breathe more slowly, with a willingness to be present and feel.

Most of us have a small window of tolerance—our systems get easily kicked out by stress, triggers, or old trauma patterns. One of the goals of trauma work is to keep you in that target zone where you function the best.

Why Trauma Makes It Harder

When you’ve lived through trauma, your system becomes more alert to danger. Even when the threat is gone, your brain and body act like it’s still here.

That’s why:

A simple sound in the night might jolt you awake like an alarm.
Raised voices can make you shut down instantly.
You swing from overdoing (hyperarousal) to avoiding (hypoarousal).

Neither response means you’re weak, broken, or not normal. They’re built-in protective strategies your nervous system uses to keep you safe.

Why Good Trauma Therapy Matters

Jumping straight into “tell me what happened” can push you outside your window and leave you feeling worse. Good trauma therapy starts by helping you build the skills to stay in your window so you can actually process what happened without retraumatizing yourself.

Think of it like the gym—you can’t expect to lift 20 pounds the first day. You build strength over time. In therapy, we build your emotional muscles: grounding tools, coping strategies, and increasing awareness of your own patterns so you learn, "oh, this is my system telling me I'm out of my window."

That way, when you’re ready for deeper trauma work, you are more aware to handle the shifts that can occur.

How EMDR Therapy Fits In

Talk therapy helps you develop insight and coping skills, and can provide new perspectives on challenging experiences. But sometimes, no matter how much you talk, you still feel reactive, triggered, or easily pushed out of your target zone.

That’s because some things are still tucked deep in your “closet,” and traditional talk therapy can’t always access them.

This is where EMDR therapy, or for those who don't have a lot of time for therapy, or need to work through specific stuck points, EMDR Intensives comes in. With EMDR, we help your brain safely reprocess old trauma so it stops hijacking your present. You don’t have to relive everything—you learn to face the memories without being knocked out of your window.

Signs You Might Be Outside Your Window

Feeling on edge or easily startled
Snapping, yelling, or becoming defensive
Shutting down, avoiding people, or withdrawing
Trouble concentrating or making decisions
Feeling “too much” (flooded) or “too little” (numb)
Struggling with sleep, nightmares, or physical tension
Shame about how you react under stress

Building Your Window: Self-Care & Awareness

You can learn to expand your window of tolerance. Start by noticing:

What zone am I in? (Too high, too low, or balanced?)
What do I feel in my body? (Racing heart? Heavy numbness?)
What am I thinking? (Am I catastrophizing? Am I disconnected?)

Take notes on the Window of Tolerance Worksheet HERE.

Simple practices to reset:

Grounding exercises (naming five things you see/hear/feel)
Movement (walking, stretching, dancing)
Breathwork or prayer
Time in community or play (yes, joy is regulation too)
Retreat with intention

Every person’s “reset list” looks different. For some, it’s running, for others, journaling, organizing a closet, or spending time with people who feel safe.

EMDR Intensives: For Deeper Work

If you’ve been putting therapy off because you “don’t have time,” or if you feel stuck in the same patterns even with talk therapy, EMDR Intensives might be right for you. They give you focused time to build skills, stay in your window, and finally process what’s weighing you down.

Learn more about EMDR Intensives here

Next Step: Try This Awareness Exercise

Want to get started today? Download my Window of Tolerance Worksheet—a simple guide to help increase your awareness of how you respond to emotions so you can map out your own zones, notice your triggers, and practice strategies to expand your window. It's a great tool to review with your therapist.

Download Your Free Window of Tolerance Worksheet

Final Thought

Understanding your Window of Tolerance or how you respond to emotions gives you language for what’s happening in your body and mind. With the right tools and support, you can widen your window, build resilience, and navigate life with greater calm and clarity.

Ready for Trauma Therapy or need a new Trauma Therapist in NYC?

At Kensho Psychotherapy in Lynbrook, we have virtual and in-person appointments serving the NYC area. Booking details can be found here.

Question for you: Which part of the Window of Tolerance do you most relate to right now—the “too high,” the “too low,” or the target zone in the middle? Or what did you find helpful about this piece? Leave a comment for us!

Mental Health Self Care Therapy grief • How to cope with grief January 11, 2024 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Beyond ‘Just Get Over It’: Real Tips for Coping with Grief in a World Demanding Happiness

by Therapist Beata Pazacka

As we continue our conversation about grief and loss when others can’t understand our experience, let’s unpack some practical ways to cope with grief, especially when it feels like you’re going through it alone.

REDEFINING GRIEF

As we discussed in Part I of this series, grief is a healthy process and an opportunity to view it as an opportunity for self-discovery. The DSM V-R, the clinical guide that we use as therapists, views grief as a disorder or something we should fix. I have discovered in both my personal and professional experience that the point of grieving is not forgetting and “moving on.” It’s not a thing to “fix.” If we allow it, it becomes part of who we are and our journey. It is something to experience.

Experiencing grief leads to positive life changes and more appreciation and gratitude for the present moment. It allows a balance of emotions and experiences that are both uncomfortable (sadness, anger, fear) and affirmative (acceptance, transformation, maturity).

PERSONAL TIPS FOR COPING WITH GRIEF

Navigating grief is a personal process. Given that, I want to offer a gentler way of personally perceiving grief and joy beyond the holidays.

1. In order to fully experience grief, it is crucial to develop a relationship with the self. Bessel Van Der Kolk, a prominent trauma therapist, outlines his concept of internal experience in his book, Body Keeps the Score, stating, “Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.”

Paying attention to what I feel and what I need resonated with me during the holiday season.

2. I have often caught myself comparing my grief experience to others and tormenting myself with “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” in terms of my feelings and actions. Relief came when I realized there is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. Grief just is, and it is a unique experience for me.

3. Recognize that grief and joy are not mutually exclusive.

When I am open to the whole experience of grieving, I find a space in my heart for moments of connection and joy. And after all, wouldn’t the grieving person want you to experience joy, whether it be a joyful memory of them or a joyful moment in the present? It is ok to hold space for both at the same time.

Don’t suffer in silence. Be honest with yourself and others about your needs, even if it is to be alone. Ask yourself, “Do I need time alone to process my grief, or am I simply avoiding others?” “Are there things I need to say? Do I need to ask someone to have a conversation with me about the loss?” Letting the family in takes courage and honesty and asking for support and understanding.

Remember that you are the owner of your grief. It is your choice how you celebrate or engage with family or friends around the loss. Permit yourself to be you and know that whatever you choose is ok.

THE BOTTOM LINE

For those of us who have had to reexperience feelings of grief during the Holiday season and are exhausted from being around others or wearing the mask of trying so hard to look “happy,” we see you and encourage you to give yourself what you need. Maybe it’s rest, scheduling a therapy session, or engaging in other healthy coping skills.

Additionally, the grief process is personal, and we invite you to practice self-compassion and kindness toward your own experience of where you are in the process.

We extend our gratitude to Psychotherapist Ms. Pezacka. Her expertise as a member of our mental health therapy team has offered deep insights into the nature of grief. If you’re in search of counseling or therapy to help you cope with grief, or you are looking for a therapist near you, reach out to us at 347-868-7813.

Your thoughts and experiences matter to us, so we’d love to hear your feedback on this piece in the comments below.