Category: Trauma

Concept image about trauma recovery and mental health showing movement from distress to healing, representing that not every stressful experience is trauma.

Trauma Therapy in Lynbrook NY • trauma therapy March 12, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Not Everything Is Trauma (And That’s Actually Good News)

At some point in our lives, we have all had what we would classify as negative experiences, and some may have been harder to shake off and move on from than others. But what can we classify as trauma? Are we all traumatized? These days, it feels like everything is being labeled trauma.

Social media talks about trauma in relationships, trauma at work, trauma in childhood, and trauma in everyday stress. And while the increased awareness is helpful, it can also leave people wondering:

If everything is trauma… then what actually counts?

The truth is, many of us have experienced difficult, painful, or stressful moments in life. But not every hard experience becomes trauma.

And understanding that distinction can actually be empowering.

What Is Trauma? Understanding the Real Definition

Let’s look at the textbook definition of trauma. Trauma refers to an event or series of events that disrupts your sense of safety or control, physically, emotionally, and in your environment. During traumatic experiences, people often feel:

Helpless
Overwhelmed
Unsafe
Unable to process what is happening

When this happens, the experience, often sudden or unexpected, can leave a lasting imprint on the mind, body, and nervous system.

Trauma is not a one-size-fits-all experience; it can look different for everyone. With a variety of ways trauma can affect us and show up, we should always try to be non-judgmental when attempting to better understand ourselves or those around us during the recovery process.

It’s not uncommon to feel numb after a traumatic event, which can be a sign you’re in shock and struggling to process what has happened to you. This is a way our minds and bodies try to protect us when we’re in distress and don’t know how else to respond in the moment. Denial is a very common symptom you can also see. Does “it could’ve been worse” or “other people have it worse than me” sound familiar?

On that same note, intellectualizing the event, meaning trying to make sense of it by using logic and facts, is another trauma response. This can look like a person trying to cope with the reality of what they went through by denying their emotions surrounding the event and its impact on them, or even blaming themselves for it. Anger and shame are also very common. It’s normal to be angry about having to experience something you did not want to happen, to feel shame for “allowing” it to happen, or even to believe that you “deserved” it. We often hear that in the therapy practice, and those are some of the exact ideas we need to unpack to help you find relief and healing.

If you’re beginning to notice how past experiences may be showing up in your daily life, our team offers trauma and anxiety therapy in Lynbrook, NY, where we help clients understand and work through the lasting impact of overwhelming experiences.

The Three Common Types of Trauma

Although trauma is such a layered and complex experience, there are three main types that you should know about.

Acute Trauma

This comes from a single, highly distressing event.

Examples include:

Car accidents
Assault or violence
Natural disasters
Witnessing something life-threatening

One moment can shift how safe someone feels in the world.

Chronic Trauma

Chronic trauma happens when stressful or dangerous situations repeat over time.

This might include:

Ongoing abuse or intimate partner violence
Persistent bullying
Microaggressions in the workplace
Living in environments where safety is unpredictable

Instead of a single event, the body remains in a prolonged state of stress and vigilance.

Complex Trauma

Complex trauma often develops when chronic trauma begins early in life, especially within relationships.

It may involve experiences like:

Emotional neglect
Abuse
Lack of stable caregivers
Constant financial instability

Over time, these experiences can shape how someone views themselves, relationships, and the world around them.

Common Signs of Trauma in the Body and Mind

Trauma doesn’t always look the way people expect.

Sometimes people feel numb or disconnected after overwhelming events. Others may notice anger, shame, or difficulty trusting themselves or others.

Some common responses include:

Minimizing the experience (“It could have been worse.”)
Intellectualizing what happened instead of feeling it
Feeling constantly on edge or overwhelmed
Struggling with shame or self-blame

People often search for answers when they notice things like:

Why do I feel on edge all the time?
Why does my body react to stress so strongly?
Why do I keep replaying things that happened years ago?
Why do I shut down emotionally in relationships?
Why does my body feel tense even when nothing is wrong?

Many people begin searching for answers when they notice symptoms like anxiety, emotional shutdown, or feeling constantly on edge. These responses are not signs of weakness.

They are often the nervous system trying to protect itself from further danger or to regain a sense of control.

Healing Is Possible

Healing from trauma doesn’t follow a straight line, and there is no single path that works for everyone. A combination of support, resources, self-care, etc., is all useful on your healing journey. Many people also find support through therapies such as:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps people understand and shift patterns of thinking that keep them stuck in cycles of fear, shame, or self-criticism. By identifying unhelpful thought patterns, people can begin building healthier emotional and behavioral responses.

EMDR Therapy (Including Intensives)

EMDR is a treatment that’s designed to help you feel less reactive to your traumatic memories. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a trauma-focused therapy designed to help the brain reprocess difficult memories so they no longer feel as overwhelming. For some people, EMDR intensives can be a powerful option. Intensives allow you to spend extended time (longer than traditional therapy sessions) working through specific issues, so you don’t have to spread the work across months of weekly sessions.

They can be especially helpful when:

You have limited time
You want to focus deeply on one or two specific experiences
You feel stuck in therapy and want to move through something more efficiently
You’re ready for deeper work that moves beyond surface-level coping

Sometimes what’s needed isn’t just more time in therapy — it’s a more focused approach.

For many people, EMDR provides that.

A Final Thought

Even if you have not experienced these types of traumas, but have still found yourself in situations that have weighed heavily on you emotionally and mentally, you still deserve support, whether it be from loved ones or a professional. You don’t have to prove that something was “bad enough” to deserve support.

If something in your life still feels heavy, confusing, or hard to move through, it’s okay to talk about it. Support exists. And despite what people sometimes assume, therapy is far more common than many realize. You might be surprised who is quietly clicking the booking link and doing the work to heal and grow.

Maybe the next person is you.

We look forward to holding that space with you.

This piece was written in collaboration with one of our clinical interns, Illiana Townsend, who felt it was important to help readers better understand what trauma is — and what it isn’t. We’re excited to see more thoughtful work from her as she continues her training with Kensho Psychotherapy Services.

Black and white pen-and-ink illustration of a young girl with braids and backpack standing beside her older self with an afro, hoop earrings, and a structured handbag, alongside the quote: “Sometimes trauma isn’t what happened to you. It’s what you had to become to survive it.” Symbolizing high functioning trauma. Kenshopsychotherapy Psychotherapy.

Anxiety Therapy Trauma Healing • Therapy February 20, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy in Lynbrook, NY | Kensho Psychotherapy

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy For the Strong Ones

If you are the strong one—the capable one—the one everyone leans on—you may not look like someone who needs therapy.

You’re accomplished. Responsible. Often the firstborn. Often the dependable one. You push through. You pray through. You handle things.

But inside, your thoughts don’t slow down.

At Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook, NY, we specialize in trauma and anxiety therapy for high-functioning women and professionals across Nassau County, Valley Stream, and neighboring Queens communities. Many of our clients are Afro-Caribbean, first-generation, or raised in families where strength was expected, and emotional needs were secondary.

For Ambitious Women Who Carry Too Much

Most of the women who thrive in our space are in their late 30s, 40s, or approaching another milestone year, and often mid- to high-level professionals. Some are parents. Some are preparing to become parents. Many are navigating career growth, leadership roles, family expectations, their personal goals, quiet worries, fading dreams, and familial responsibilities simultaneously.

From the outside, everything looks so good.

But for most, inside feels heavy.

You may feel pressure to be grateful because you’ve achieved so much. You may have grown up hearing messages like:

“Push through.”
“Pray through.”
“You should be fine.”
“You have so much going for you.”

But strength without space to process becomes exhaustion.

Anxiety becomes the language your body uses when unprocessed grief, disappointment, responsibility, or old wounds don’t have anywhere to go.

When Anxiety Is More Than Just Overthinking

Many clients come to us thinking they just have anxiety.

They describe:

Constant overthinking
Racing thoughts
Difficulty sleeping
Panic in high-stakes moments
Feeling like they can’t relax even when nothing is wrong

As we begin therapy, we often uncover deeper layers.

Anxiety sometimes connects to:

Childhood pressure to perform
Being the firstborn who had to “get it right,” or “do all the things.”
Emotional invalidation
Unspoken family expectations
Experiences of not being defended
Sacrifices that were never acknowledged

What first looked like anxiety may include trauma, grief, or long-standing emotional patterns. And baybe, we are here for all of it!

Trauma That Doesn’t Always Look Like Trauma

Not all trauma is dramatic.

Sometimes it is:

The disappointment you swallowed
The expectations that shaped your identity
The grief you never processed
The loss of who you were before responsibility took over

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we create a safe space for those layers to unfold. We use evidence-based approaches, including EMDR and cognitive therapy, or somatic work and mindfulness when appropriate, to help work through trauma without re-traumatizing you.

We move at your pace. We just bring the tools to do the heavy lifting.

Therapy That Is Warm, Direct, and Grounded in the Craft

We are not a factory-style clinic. We are also not performative “Instagram therapy.”

Our therapists are seasoned, culturally attuned women—many with Afro-Caribbean backgrounds—who value the craft of therapy.

What that means for you:

Warmth without coddling
We can kick it, but you will give you homework
Depth without theatrics
Structure without rigidity
Professionalism and a deep respect for confidentiality

We take time to understand your full story. We help you organize your thoughts. We reflect patterns you may not see. We slow things down so you can hear yourself clearly and bring in the tools to help you do the work and heal faster.

Serving Lynbrook, Valley Stream, Nassau County & Nearby Queens

Our office is located in Lynbrook, NY, and we serve clients throughout Nassau County, including Valley Stream, as well as nearby Queens neighborhoods such as Cambria Heights and Rosedale. But since we also offer virtual therapy, we can support clients across New York State, like Brooklyn and beyond.

If you have been searching for:

Trauma therapy in Lynbrook
Anxiety therapy in Valley Stream
EMDR therapy in Nassau County
Black therapist or Caribbean therapist in NY
Culturally competent therapy near Queens

You are in the right place.

What to Expect When You Reach Out

You can call our office or complete the consultation request form online. We will contact you to:

Review your insurance and discuss deductibles or out-of-network options
Answer your initial questions
Help you determine if we are the right fit

We want you to have your questions answered before committing to therapy.

Ready to Begin?

If you are tired of holding everything together…

If anxiety is louder than it used to be…

If old experiences are starting to surface…

Trauma and anxiety therapy at Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook can help you untangle what feels overwhelming and reconnect with who you are beneath the pressure.

We currently have limited in-person openings in Lynbrook and virtual availability across New York.

👉 Book a consultation or contact our office today at 347-868-7813.

NYC Therapist Personal Growth Therapy Trauma EMDR Therapy • Is it trauma? • therapy for Black women • trauma and perfectionism • trauma therapist near me • trauma therapy January 13, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

trauma-therapy-intensive-nyc-and-long-island

Trauma & PTSD Therapy in NYC, NY & Long Island, NY Heal the past, settle into the present, and reclaim your life.

Trauma therapy for adults dealing with trauma, performance anxiety, overwhelming stress, growing up the oldest, Caribbean parents, or with PTSD. Therapy for trauma is offered in person in Lynbrook, NY, and online across New York City and New York State, and EMDR Trauma Intensives.

I’m Ready.

Feeling stuck?

Living with trauma can feel like you’re trapped in a cycle your mind understands, but your body won’t let go of.

You may be doing “all the right things” — praying, journaling, talking it out, even going to therapy — and still feel triggered, overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally shut down. That’s because trauma doesn’t only live in your thoughts. Trauma lives in the nervous system.

And when your nervous system is still on alert, it can feel like you’re always bracing for something — even when nothing is happening.

This is why trauma symptoms often show up as:

chronic body tension or pain
anxiety or panic responses
difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
feeling constantly on edge or emotionally shut down
irritability, reactivity, or sudden overwhelm
feeling disconnected from yourself or others

Book an appointment

Many people don’t realize they’re dealing with trauma symptoms because it doesn’t always look like flashbacks or start with the typical events like sexual abuse or physical abuse.

It can look like:

people-pleasing, perfectionism, or over-functioning
feeling numb, disconnected, or emotionally “flat”
trouble sleeping, nightmares, or waking up tired
chronic tension in the body (tight chest, jaw, shoulders, stomach)
feeling unsafe in relationships — even when someone hasn’t done anything wrong
intrusive memories or racing thoughts
trouble with authority or communicating needs without hurting others

You may look “high-functioning” on the outside, but inside, you feel exhausted. On edge. Guarded. Or like you’re only half-living.

You deserve more than survival mode.

If you’ve been searching for trauma therapy near a trauma therapist who understands the mind-body connection, or me, growing up Caribbean or the black experience, you’re not alone, and support is available with our practice, Kensho Psychotherapy Services, with virtual and in-person therapy available. Healing doesn’t require reliving the past. It requires the right approach, good coping tools, at the right pace, with the right support. Whether it is traditional psychotherapy or EMDR therapy, which changes your relationship to trauma.

Trauma therapy and EMDR Intensives in Long Island, NY, help you change that relationship and feel more in control of your life.

For details on booking your next therapy session, start here.

Additional Reads:

What Got You This Far, Can’t Carry You

Dear Self, It’s Not Time to Panic Journal

How EMDR Therapy Helps Untangle These Patterns

EMDR Therapy Therapy Trauma black girl healing • EMDR • trauma therapy • trauma tools • window of tolerance September 23, 2025 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Understanding the Window of Tolerance: Why Therapy Sometimes Feels Hard

Sometimes healing feels harder than we expect. You sit down in therapy, determined to work on yourself, and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by emotions—or, on the other hand, you feel nothing at all. That’s not failure. It’s your nervous system doing what it was designed to do: protect you.

Trauma therapists refer to this as the Window of Tolerance, a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. You can think about it as your target emotional zone. Our goal is to keep you on the right target- the place where you can safely feel and think without being knocked out by overwhelm or shut down completely when triggered, or stressed.

What Is the Window of Tolerance?

Your brain and body are designed to help you avoid danger at all costs. When the brain and body believe it is in danger (even if it's not accurate) to protect you, your nervous system will automatically kick you into one of these areas:

Hyperarousal (too high, aka fight/flight): Anxiety, catastrophic thinking (like something bad will happen), sleep issues, thoughts won’t stop racing, irritable, restless, can't focus, you overwork to avoid feelings. You may look driven and productive, but it's fueled by fear/stress. May experience tightness in the chest or shoulders, tension in the jaw, stomach, back pain, or other areas of the body, or pain.

Hypoarousal (too low, aka freeze/fawn: You feel numb, detached, stay in bed longer than you want to, avoid calls, procrastinate, shop/drink/smoke to escape feelings, check out emotionally when things get hard, or feel emotionally detached. Avoidance of trauma themes, focusing on others instead of self, and long silences. Smiling, agreeable, still "on top of things" outwardly - but internally disconnected and drained. You often hear yourself saying, "I don't know" or "it is what it is." Typically experience brain fog, fatigue, and difficulty moving.

Window of tolerance (Target Zone): You feel grounded, calm, and can manage stress. You can experience insight without intellectualizing, and emotions are expressed without overwhelm. You can maintain a relaxed posture and breathe more slowly, with a willingness to be present and feel.

Most of us have a small window of tolerance—our systems get easily kicked out by stress, triggers, or old trauma patterns. One of the goals of trauma work is to keep you in that target zone where you function the best.

Why Trauma Makes It Harder

When you’ve lived through trauma, your system becomes more alert to danger. Even when the threat is gone, your brain and body act like it’s still here.

That’s why:

A simple sound in the night might jolt you awake like an alarm.
Raised voices can make you shut down instantly.
You swing from overdoing (hyperarousal) to avoiding (hypoarousal).

Neither response means you’re weak, broken, or not normal. They’re built-in protective strategies your nervous system uses to keep you safe.

Why Good Trauma Therapy Matters

Jumping straight into “tell me what happened” can push you outside your window and leave you feeling worse. Good trauma therapy starts by helping you build the skills to stay in your window so you can actually process what happened without retraumatizing yourself.

Think of it like the gym—you can’t expect to lift 20 pounds the first day. You build strength over time. In therapy, we build your emotional muscles: grounding tools, coping strategies, and increasing awareness of your own patterns so you learn, "oh, this is my system telling me I'm out of my window."

That way, when you’re ready for deeper trauma work, you are more aware to handle the shifts that can occur.

How EMDR Therapy Fits In

Talk therapy helps you develop insight and coping skills, and can provide new perspectives on challenging experiences. But sometimes, no matter how much you talk, you still feel reactive, triggered, or easily pushed out of your target zone.

That’s because some things are still tucked deep in your “closet,” and traditional talk therapy can’t always access them.

This is where EMDR therapy, or for those who don't have a lot of time for therapy, or need to work through specific stuck points, EMDR Intensives comes in. With EMDR, we help your brain safely reprocess old trauma so it stops hijacking your present. You don’t have to relive everything—you learn to face the memories without being knocked out of your window.

Signs You Might Be Outside Your Window

Feeling on edge or easily startled
Snapping, yelling, or becoming defensive
Shutting down, avoiding people, or withdrawing
Trouble concentrating or making decisions
Feeling “too much” (flooded) or “too little” (numb)
Struggling with sleep, nightmares, or physical tension
Shame about how you react under stress

Building Your Window: Self-Care & Awareness

You can learn to expand your window of tolerance. Start by noticing:

What zone am I in? (Too high, too low, or balanced?)
What do I feel in my body? (Racing heart? Heavy numbness?)
What am I thinking? (Am I catastrophizing? Am I disconnected?)

Take notes on the Window of Tolerance Worksheet HERE.

Simple practices to reset:

Grounding exercises (naming five things you see/hear/feel)
Movement (walking, stretching, dancing)
Breathwork or prayer
Time in community or play (yes, joy is regulation too)
Retreat with intention

Every person’s “reset list” looks different. For some, it’s running, for others, journaling, organizing a closet, or spending time with people who feel safe.

EMDR Intensives: For Deeper Work

If you’ve been putting therapy off because you “don’t have time,” or if you feel stuck in the same patterns even with talk therapy, EMDR Intensives might be right for you. They give you focused time to build skills, stay in your window, and finally process what’s weighing you down.

Learn more about EMDR Intensives here

Next Step: Try This Awareness Exercise

Want to get started today? Download my Window of Tolerance Worksheet—a simple guide to help increase your awareness of how you respond to emotions so you can map out your own zones, notice your triggers, and practice strategies to expand your window. It's a great tool to review with your therapist.

Download Your Free Window of Tolerance Worksheet

Final Thought

Understanding your Window of Tolerance or how you respond to emotions gives you language for what’s happening in your body and mind. With the right tools and support, you can widen your window, build resilience, and navigate life with greater calm and clarity.

Ready for Trauma Therapy or need a new Trauma Therapist in NYC?

At Kensho Psychotherapy in Lynbrook, we have virtual and in-person appointments serving the NYC area. Booking details can be found here.

Question for you: Which part of the Window of Tolerance do you most relate to right now—the “too high,” the “too low,” or the target zone in the middle? Or what did you find helpful about this piece? Leave a comment for us!

Couples Therapy Personal Growth Trauma Communication November 3, 2021 By AMANDA FLUDD 1 Comment

Do We Need Therapy? Couples Edition.

The secret’s out, therapy can be a life-changing experience for individuals and couples navigating new or established relationships. Couples therapy aims to help a couple improve or better understand their style of relating and connecting. Healthy relationships don’t necessarily just happen; it results from applying skills like boundaries and practical communication approaches, which sometimes requires a professional.

Couples therapy can be helpful because an objective party can potentially close the gap between you and your partner. It can be used for new couples, couples preparing for marriage, married couples, and even couples considering divorce.

Why should you participate in couples therapy?

Communication. The number one reason most couples go to therapy is for support with communication. As you may know, communication is a key element in any relationship’s success, but especially for intimate relationships.

Have you ever had a conversation with your partner that immediately turned to arguments or quickly escalated into a shouting match? Maybe you’ve left an encounter feeling manipulated or dismissed? Or worse, feeling alone or disappointed with the quality of your relationship.

That is where couple’s therapy can come in to lend the tools to navigate the intense emotions that come into communication dynamics. The goals are to help create space to explore more understanding and empathy between partners and foster fulfilling partnerships. For minority couples, therapy is an excellent resource for validating the black and brown experience, with opportunities to experience restorative conversations.

For example, historically, many Black men have learned messages that certain emotions are not ok to express and are a sign of weakness. This is similar for many minority groups who culturally may not have been taught how to be vulnerable or have that role modeled in their lives. Black women may be more open with their emotions but are also taught to be superwomen and hide their struggles, even when overwhelmed and falling apart. These dynamics within a relationship can easily lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.

**Expressing your feelings doesn’t diminish your masculinity or weaken your strength as a woman**

You need to know that expressing yourself doesn’t diminish your masculinity or weaken your strength as a woman. Relationship dynamics can challenge that at times, and we can’t stress enough, you are not alone in that experience.

Trauma. Trauma is a profound loss of control. By the time we come into adulthood, most of us have had to experience at least two traumatic events, if not more. Events such as a significant loss, experiencing a parent incarcerated or subjected to alcohol or substance use, sexual trauma, lingering intergenerational family trauma, witnessing community trauma, experiencing abuse or neglect.

Trauma directly impacts our ability to trust and connect with others. It affects intimacy, one’s ability to know and express your emotions, and even your ability to be emotionally available to others. Couples therapy can be a valuable tool for couples where one or both partners are looking to heal.

Passion/ Sex Related Issues. Sex is still a taboo topic in most cultures and most relationships. Couples who struggle in the bedroom need not be ashamed. Many factors can affect a couple’s sex life. At times there are emotional aspects of that (such as trauma mentioned above or other fears or anxieties) that can be addressed with the support of a couple’s therapist.

Infidelity. Infidelity often alters the trajectory of a relationship and can lead to issues related to trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. Many couples seek therapy as a sincere effort to save the relationship and heal from the damage infidelity can cause, or even to resolve these issues and amicably separate.

While there are many other reasons to engage in couple’s therapy, like boundary issues, differing parenting styles, navigating the health of a spouse, finances or just wanting core skills to support your relationship- whatever the reason it can be especially validating to hear from a professional.

If you are experiencing any of the above or other relationship concerns, please contact the practice as we have several openings for couples. Additionally, keep an eye out for future couples’ workshops hosted at Kensho Psychotherapy Services, where couples can come together to learn tips and strategies to make their relationships stronger.

Written by Alyssa Heavens, MFT Intern and edited by Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, Psychotherapist, Clinical Supervisor & Mental Health Consultant

Why Old Wounds Still Hurt (Even When You Thought You Moved On)

Ever have a moment where you think, “Why did I react like that?” This article explores how triggers connect to old experiences, …

Trauma