Category: Anxiety

Thoughtful Black woman sitting in a bright, naturally lit room with a light gray couch and greenery. Text reads, โ€œYouโ€™re Hitting Those Vision Board Goals. But Is Your Healing Keeping Up?โ€ highlighting the importance of emotional healing, mental wellness, and self-care alongside personal and professional success.

You’re Hitting Those Vision Board Goals. But Is Your Healing Keeping Up?

The life you’re building deserves a version of you who feels as good as she looks on paper.

There’s something about watching a woman step into her own. She’s making moves, opening doors, taking chances on herself, and finally seeing some of those vision board goals become her actual life.

And I love that for her.

But I’ve also been thinking about the parts of ourselves that don’t always keep up with the lives we’re building.

You can be a powerhouse in your own right. The person who handles things, leads the team, builds the business, figures out the next move. You know how to get things done.

But you also know when something in your gut doesn’t feel safe.

When your confidence disappears in a particular room. When someone’s words stay with you longer than they should. When you find yourself questioning a decision you were perfectly comfortable with yesterday.

And then there’s the stuff you don’t even talk about.

The deep doubts. The trauma you haven’t found the words for. The relationship you never fully processed. The things that hurt so much you’ve learned to live around them instead of addressing them.

I’m not even talking about the things you can clearly see.ย  I’m talking about the stuff in that back closet.

You know the quiet things I’m talking about. I see you.

The place where you’ve tucked away everything you didn’t have the time, energy, or emotional capacity to deal with. You closed the door, straightened yourself up, and went right back to being the woman everyone knows you to be.

And for a while, that works, until one day, something happens.

A comment. A disappointment. An unexpected loss. A relationship that brings up something familiar. Maybe even an incredible opportunity that suddenly has you questioning whether you’re good enough.

And that one thing sets off a flood of emotions you thought you had under control.

They weren’t resolved. They were just sitting in the closet.

Being Busy Can Become a Convenient Reason Not to Heal

I know how much you have going on. And I know that finding time for yourself isn’t always as simple as moving a few things around on your calendar.

But I also think we have to be willing to ask ourselves some uncomfortable questions.

How long have you been telling yourself you’ll get to your healing when things slow down?

How many times have you said I’m good, because explaining what you’re really feeling would require a conversation you don’t have the energy for?

And how much of what you’ve been calling ambition is actually pressure you’ve carried so long you don’t know how to put it down?

Because there’s a difference between being driven and being driven by fear.

There’s a difference between wanting to do excellent work and feeling like one mistake will prove you’re not good enough.

There’s a difference between being responsible and believing everything will fall apart if you stop holding it together.

And there’s a difference between choosing to move forward and staying in motion because slowing down would mean feeling something you’ve been avoiding.

Avoidance is not a cure.

It may have helped you get through a difficult season. It may even have been necessary at the time. But that doesn’t mean it has to remain your way of coping.

Sometimes being busy is about having a full life. Other times, it gives us a very convincing reason not to open that closet.

The problem is that we don’t always get to decide when something inside it comes spilling out.

You’re Doing Amazing Things. But How Do You Actually Feel About Yourself?

In my work as a trauma therapist, I spend a lot of time with highly driven women who are doing amazing things. Women with careers, businesses, families, big ideas, and responsibilities that matter.

One thing I’ve noticed is that how they show up for the world isn’t always how they feel about themselves.

Someone else may see a confident leader, while inside she’s questioning every decision.

She can negotiate a contract, manage a team, and handle difficult conversations at work. But when it comes to setting a boundary in her personal life, suddenly she’s wondering if she’s asking for too much.

She knows she’s qualified for the opportunity, but her body responds as though she’s about to be exposed.

And sometimes that’s the hardest part to explain.

Because intellectually, you know better.

You know you’ve earned your place. You know that relationship wasn’t healthy. You know one person’s opinion doesn’t define you.

But knowing something and feeling safe enough to believe it are not always the same thing.

That’s why I love the deeper work we do in trauma therapy.

As an EMDR-trained therapist, one thing I appreciate about this approach is that we can go beyond talking about these patterns and start addressing the experiences and beliefs connected to them.

We can get curious about where that I’m not enough belief came from. Why your body reacts so strongly to certain situations. Why an experience from years ago can still shape how you feel about yourself today.

Not everything we work through has to be a major traumatic event, either. Sometimes it’s anxiety, persistent self-doubt, a painful relationship, an experience of rejection, or a belief about yourself that has followed you into every new chapter.

Those experiences may be part of your story. They don’t have to keep shaping every decision you make.

What If Relief Didn’t Have to Take So Much From You?

I think one of the things that keeps women from seeking therapy is the idea that healing is going to require so much from them.

More time. More emotional energy. Another standing appointment. Another responsibility added to an already full calendar.

And listen, healing does require something of us. I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

But it doesn’t always have to look the way you’ve imagined.

Sometimes it’s less about finding endless amounts of time and more about being intentional with the time you decide to give yourself.

Part of my work as a trauma therapist is curating healing experiences that make sense for the person sitting in front of me. That includes understanding your goals, what you’ve been carrying, how ready you feel to address it, and what kind of support will help you move through the process.

It’s also why I offer EMDR and trauma intensives as part of my practice.

An intensive gives us a dedicated block of therapeutic time instead of relying only on weekly sessions.

And I know how much you value your time.

Maybe taking an hour out of your workweek every Tuesday feels impossible right now. Maybe you’ve started therapy before but struggled to keep the momentum going between appointments. Or maybe you’re carrying something specific, and you’re finally ready to give it your attention.

An intensive creates space for us to do just that.

And it doesn’t have to be about what you’d traditionally call trauma. We may be addressing anxiety, self-doubt, a painful experience, or that not enough belief that keeps showing up no matter how much you accomplish.

Have You Ever Considered an EMDR Intensive?

Here’s what I especially love about this approach.

We don’t have to spend every session getting back into the work, only to wrap up just as we’re getting somewhere meaningful.

With an intensive, we have more continuous time to explore what comes up, work through distressing experiences, and notice the shifts happening along the way.

Depending on your needs, that might look like a few 90-minute sessions.

Or my personal favorite: a Saturday morning where we set aside three to six hours for focused therapeutic work.

For some people, that uninterrupted time can create meaningful progress that might otherwise be spread across several months of weekly appointments. Of course, that varies from person to person, and an intensive doesn’t guarantee faster results.

We also don’t jump straight into processing without preparation. We take time to make sure you feel grounded, supported, and ready for the experience.

I recently added sound healing to my practice as another way to support relaxation and create a more intentional therapeutic experience when appropriate. I’m excited about what that can add to the work.

Because I want healing to feel like something you’re choosing for yourself, not another obligation you’re trying to squeeze into your life.

It’s dedicated time to address what you’ve been carrying.

Time to be supported.

Time to consider what might become possible when you aren’t responding to everything through the lens of something that hurt you years ago.

But How Do You Know If EMDR Is Actually Working?

This is one of the questions I get most, and it’s a good one.

Because EMDR doesn’t always feel like what we expect therapy to feel like.

Sometimes memories come up in pieces. Sometimes you notice sensations in your body. Sometimes your mind makes connections you weren’t expecting.

And sometimes you leave a session wondering whether anything happened at all.

In a recent video, I talk about this very question after an EMDR experience where the person wasn’t sure at first that the session had worked. But as we explored what she noticed afterward, she began to recognize that her relationship with something that used to cause her significant anxiety had changed.

That matters.

Because healing isn’t always about some dramatic emotional breakthrough.

Sometimes it’s realizing you can approach a situation without the same dread.

That you can remember something painful without feeling like you’re reliving it.

That the thing that once made you question yourself doesn’t have quite the same hold on you anymore.

I also share my own experience with EMDR and how it changed my emotional response to a car accident I’d been carrying for years.

The memory didn’t disappear.

My relationship with it changed.

And sometimes that’s what creates room for us to move forward differently.

Watch: What Does EMDR Feel Like When It’s Working?

In this video, I break down what EMDR can feel like, how to recognize progress, why the changes aren’t always obvious at first, and what makes intensive sessions different from traditional weekly therapy.

You Are Worth the Time

Here’s what I want to leave you with.

I’m not asking you to stop pursuing your goals, slow down your ambition, or make your life smaller.

Please, keep going after the things you want.

But as you update that vision board, make those investments, and plan your next chapter, I want you to think about the woman who gets to experience all of it.ย Not just what she’s accomplishing, but how she’s feeling. How she’s showing up in her relationships. Whether she trusts herself. Whether she can enjoy what she’s created without constantly bracing for something to go wrong.

And whether there are still parts of her that need some attention.

You are worth the time it takes to explore those parts.

You’re worth investing in an experience that is just for you.

And you’re worth finding out what a more healed version of you might feel like as you move through this world.

You don’t have to wait for the closet door to burst open before you decide to look at what’s inside.

If you’ve been putting your healing aside, maybe this is your invitation to reconsider what making time for yourself could look like.

And if an EMDR intensive sounds like something you’d like to explore, I’d love to help you figure out whether it’s the right fit.

Explore EMDR Intensives at Kensho Psychotherapy Services โ†’

Reads You Might Like

  1. Trauma & Anxiety Therapy for the Strong Ones
    For the woman who’s always been the dependable one but carries more emotionally than people realize.
  2. Girl, How Long Are We Going to Keep Talking About the Same Thing
  3. What Is an EMDR Intensive? How It May Help With Anxiety
    The practical follow-up if you’re curious about EMDR and whether an intensive might fit your life.

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, is a trauma therapist and Executive Director of Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook, New York. She specializes in EMDR therapy and offers focused therapy intensives for adults ready to address the experiences, beliefs, and emotional patterns that may be holding them back.


Podcast โ€” Grace, Growth & Business: https://gracegrowthandbusiness.buzzsprout.com ยท EMDR Intensives: https://amandafludd.com/therapyintensive/ ยท Contact: amanda@amandafludd.com ยท amandafludd.com/individual-therapy

What Is an EMDR Intensive? How It May Help With Anxiety

There are lots of different ways to heal, and one type of therapy that I don’t think is talked about enough is EMDR. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It was originally developed to help people heal from trauma, but we are also seeing how EMDR may help people work through other concerns like anxiety, emotional overwhelm, and some of the negative beliefs we have about ourselves.

I think this is especially important for Black women because we can get really good at pushing through things. You may know all the coping skills, know that you are capable, and even understand where some of your patterns come from, but still have this feeling of I’m not enough or I have to get everything right.

Sometimes knowing something logically doesn’t necessarily change how it feels in your body or how you react when something triggers you.

 

There is also growing research looking at EMDR beyond PTSD. A 2026 meta-analysis looked at 40 randomized controlled trials with 2,064 participants and found that EMDR was associated with reductions in anxiety and depression symptoms (Ajele, Ramonkga, & Idemudia, 2026). The researchers also noted considerable differences across the studies, and EMDR’s advantage over other established psychotherapies remains less certain.

This research is important because people often hear EMDR and automatically think it is only for major trauma, when people may also be dealing with anxiety and emotional reactions that continue to get in their way.

What Is an EMDR Intensive?

An EMDR intensive is a more concentrated, focused way of doing EMDR therapy, and it can be a magical experience when done with a trained EMDR Therapist. Traditional EMDR might happen once a week or every other week, and sessions may be around 45โ€“60 minutes. With an intensive, we have more time to really focus on the issue you came in to work on. I like to think of it like going to the gym. Yes, you can go to the gym for 45 minutes once a week and still see some results, but when you go consistently, or have the opportunity to take a focused class that asks more of you, maybe has more guidance, or is so dialed in to an area that you see better results.

It’s similar to what happens with an intensive. Instead of spreading the work out over many shorter sessions, you get a longer block of time to stay focused on the issue you’re trying to address.

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we might do several 90-minute sessions closer together, a three-hour intensive, six hours, or even create a more retreat-style experience over a few days. It really depends on the needs of the individual and what makes sense for them.

Black woman sitting in therapy office thinking about EMDR intensive trauma therapy

How Is an EMDR Intensive Different From Weekly Therapy?

One of the things I really like about the intensive format is that we don’t lose as much time to all the other fires that can happen in weekly therapy as you navigate life.

Maybe you couldn’t make therapy last week, something happened at work this week, or now there’s a family situation you need to talk about. All of that is important, but before you know it, you haven’t gotten back to the original thing you wanted to address, like why do I keep sabotaging my progress, the feeling of “stuckness,” despite being in therapy, or the fears that quickly activate as you step into challenging situations. Sometimes the busyness of life can become distractions.

With an intensive, we already know what we’re coming in to focus on, and we’ve taken the time to prepare you for the work. That gives us more uninterrupted time to stay with the issue instead of having to stop and come back to it another week and hope to spend some time on it.

That focused time is one of the things that makes intensives different from doing EMDR or traditional weekly therapy.

Can EMDR Intensives Help With Anxiety?

You may already know how to challenge an anxious thought, practice grounding, take a breath, or remind yourself that you’re capable. But when something triggers you, those tools can suddenly feel much harder to access.

EMDR may help us look at some of the experiences, emotional reactions, or negative beliefs underneath that response. For example, the anxiety you feel before making a mistake at work may be connected to a deeper belief such as If I get this wrong, I’m a failure, This will go horribly wrong, or I have to be perfect to be safe or accepted.

Sometimes you can’t affirm your way out of an emotional experience or tell yourself to stop being anxious or worried. Your system just won’t respond. It needs a heavy duty approach to work with the experiences and reactions connected to those beliefs driving your anxiety.

So yes, EMDR can help with anxiety, not just trauma or PTSD. It can also support people struggling with anxiety, overwhelm, overthinking, perfectionism, or similar negative beliefs about themselves.

Are EMDR Intensives for Everyone?

EMDR intensives aren’t for everyone. It’s a good idea to start with a consultation so a provider can help you assess where you are emotionally, what you want to work on, and whether this is the right approach for you. Remember, there is more than one way to heal, and we want to find what is right for you.

The good thing about intensives is that you don’t have to be in regular therapy with us to do an intensive.

For example, you might already be working with a CBT therapist and have really good tools for managing anxiety, but find that when you get triggered, it is still really hard to access those tools. An intensive may focus on some of the experiences or beliefs underneath that reaction and reduce the reactivity there. That emotional space the work creates often makes work with other providers or modalities more accessible. It’s a good adjunct to that work, if you will.

If you already have a therapist you trust, you don’t have to switch therapists to work with us. You can come to Kensho specifically for the EMDR intensive and continue working with your regular therapist afterward.

Have more questions? In the video below, I answer what people ask most before booking: whether an EMDR intensive is worth it, how it differs from weekly therapy, whether you can keep your current therapist, who it tends to be a good fit for, and why focused, dedicated time can work well for busy professionals working through anxiety, trauma, and patterns that keep getting in the way.

EMDR Intensives at Kensho Psychotherapy Services

At Kensho Psychotherapy Services, we offer EMDR therapy and EMDR intensives in different formats. We only schedule a limited number of intensives each month and start with a free consultation so we can learn more about what you want to address and determine whether an intensive may be a good fit.

We offer EMDR in person in Lynbrook, Nassau County, New York, and online for clients throughout New York State. We can also talk with you about a more customized intensive experience if you are traveling in to NY for the work.

If you’re curious about EMDR or feel like you’ve done a lot of talking and understanding but something still isn’t shifting, an intensive may be worth exploring.

Learn more about individual therapy and EMDR services at Kensho Psychotherapy Services: https://amandafludd.com/therapyintensive/

Contributor: Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, EMDR Therapistย 

Reference

Ajele, K. W., Ramonkga, B. N., & Idemudia, E. S. (2026). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing outcomes in depression and anxiety: Evidence from a meta-analysis. Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 20, Article 0033. https://doi.org/10.34133/jemdr.0033

Fighting Your Anxiety Can Make It Feel Worseโ€” What to Try Instead.

Dealing with anxiety can be incredibly frustrating and feel like a major inconvenience in your life. It’s normal to find yourself thinking, “Why can’t I just relax?” or “Why can’t I stop being this way and just be normal?”

When we’re overwhelmed by anxiety, our knee-jerk reaction is often to become angry, frustrated, ashamed, or critical of ourselves for feeling that way. We start ruminating over what’s “wrong” with us, fearing our reactions, or wishing we could simply turn the anxiety off. The problem is that none of those responses make the anxiety go away, and it often makes it worse. That’s when many people unknowingly find themselves in a fight with their own anxiety

Why Fighting Anxiety Can Make It Feel Worse

Anxiety is hard enough on its own. What often makes it even harder is the fight that begins inside of you once it shows up. Instead of responding with curiosity, we often respond with criticism. We tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel this way, try to force the anxiety to disappear, or become frustrated that we can’t simply “calm down.” Before long, we’re no longer just dealing with anxiety, we’re battling ourselves for having it.

You might notice you’re caught in that fight if your inner dialogue sounds like:

  • “I should be able to handle this.”
  • “Why am I always like this?”
  • “This isn’t even a big deal.”
  • “I need to stop feeling this way.”

Or maybe it shows up in your actions instead. You avoid making the phone call. You stay inside because going out feels overwhelming. You procrastinate on the task you’ve been thinking about all week. You replay conversations in your head, search for reassurance, or spend hours trying to figure out why you feel this way. It all makes sense: you’re trying to feel better, but that’s why this fight is so exhausting. The more you argue with your anxiety, the more attention you give it. The more attention you give it, the bigger it begins to feel.

Before you know it, you’re no longer just anxious… you’re anxious about being anxious

The Role of Radical Acceptance in Managing Anxiety

One skill that can help you respond differently is radical acceptance.

Radical acceptance means acknowledging what is happening in the present moment without trying to control it. It is the practice of recognizing, โ€œThis is what I am feeling right now,โ€ even if you do not like it and want things to be different.

At first, accepting anxiety may sound counterproductive, but noticing what’s happening, giving it a name, deciding not to channel your energy into criticism, or what is out of your control, actually helps you to find the control button in your life.

Radical acceptance says I notice this thing happening to me, and I don’t have to be hard on myself for having this experience. It welcomes the experience as an opportunity for learning or adjustments. It doesn’t mean you agree with the experience, but it allows you to stop creatively running from it.

You might say:

โ€œI feel anxious right now. I do not like this feeling, but I do not have to attack myself for having it.โ€

That response creates more space than telling yourself: โ€œI cannot feel like this.โ€

Acceptance Does Not Mean Approval

As we said, accepting your anxiety does not mean that you enjoy it, or want it to remain in a way that continues to interrupt your life. You can accept that you feel anxious and still:

  • use coping strategies
  • leave an unhealthy situation
  • set a boundary
  • ask for support
  • book that therapy appointment to address it
  • work toward reducing your symptoms
  • make changes in your life

We are simply encouraging you to find your healing and stay in the moment without adding shame, blame, or an internal battle. That typically is what makes the experience of anxiety worse.

Coping Statements for Anxiety

Practicing radical acceptance can look like using coping statements, which help ground you in the present moment and remind you that you are in control and able to handle difficult situations and strong emotions. It won’t magically erase anxiety, but it can help you respond to it with more balance and self-compassion.

You might try:

  • โ€œThis feeling is uncomfortable, but I can get through it.โ€
  • โ€œI can feel anxious and still deal with this situation.โ€
  • โ€œI do not have to solve everything in this moment.โ€
  • โ€œI cannot change what has already happened, but I can choose my next step.โ€
  • โ€œFighting this feeling is making it harder. I can relax and breathe and let it float away without judging myself.โ€
  • โ€œI accept this moment as it is.”

Choose one statement that feels believable to you and practice it often.  For example, saying, โ€œEverything is fine,โ€ may not help when you do not feel fine. Saying, โ€œI feel overwhelmed, but I can take one small step,โ€ may feel more honest and grounding.

How to Practice Radical Acceptance When Anxiety Shows Up

The next time you notice your anxiety increasing, try pausing before immediately attempting to push it away.

Start by naming what is happening: โ€œMy chest feels tight. My thoughts are moving quickly. I am worried that something will go wrong.โ€

Then separate what you are experiencing from the story your anxiety may be creating: โ€œI am feeling afraid, but that does not automatically mean something bad will happen.”

Next, if you want deeper insights, ask yourself:

  • What is true in this moment?
  • What part of this situation can I control?
  • What am I trying to force or change right now?
  • What would be a supportive next step?

Your next step may be to take several slow breaths, step outside, write down your thoughts, delay a decision until you feel more grounded, or reach out to someone you trust.

We are not trying to be perfectly calm. Your goal is to bring the feelings down a few degrees and reduce any self-criticism for having a human emotional response. This will create more space for navigating the situation skillfully.

How Anxiety Therapy Can Help

Therapy is a good place to help you put all this together and improve the skills needed to navigate anxiety. It can be difficult to identify your anxiety patterns on your own, or consistently be skillful, especially when they have been present for a long time.

Therapy can help you better understand:

  • what situations tend to activate your anxiety
  • how anxiety shows up in your thoughts and body
  • whether past experiences are influencing current reactions
  • which coping strategies work best for you
  • how to respond without becoming overwhelmed by shame or self-criticism

At Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Nassau County, our therapists help clients explore the experiences beneath anxiety while developing practical ways to manage overthinking, physical tension, avoidance, and intense emotions.

Therapy is not only about learning how to calm down. It can also help you understand why certain situations feel so difficult and build a more compassionate, effective relationship with yourself.

Final Thoughts

Nobody enjoys feeling anxious. However, constantly fighting, judging, or criticizing yourself for having anxiety often makes the experience more intense.

Radical acceptance offers a different approach. It allows you to acknowledge what you are feeling without giving the anxiety complete control over what you do next.

You can feel anxious and still take care of yourself. You can feel uncomfortable and still make a thoughtful decision. You can accept what is happening in the present moment while continuing to work toward healing and change.

Kensho Psychotherapy Services offers anxiety therapy and mental health counseling for adults and teens navigating overthinking, stress, trauma, relationship concerns, and longstanding emotional patterns. Our practice is located in Lynbrook, New York, and we offer online therapy to clients throughout New York State if you can’t make it in person.

To learn more about anxiety therapy or schedule a consultation with Kensho Psychotherapy Services, click Book Appointment.

This piece was written with the help of Mental Health Intern Illiana Townsend, who is passionate about helping others better understand anxiety and develop healthier ways of responding to it.


If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you believe there is an immediate danger to yourself or someone else, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department.


Frequently Asked Questions

Does accepting anxiety make it worse?
Accepting anxiety does not mean focusing on it or encouraging it to grow. Radical acceptance can help reduce the additional stress caused by fighting, judging, or fearing the anxiety itself.

Can therapy help me understand what triggers my anxiety?
Yes. Therapy can help you identify situations, thoughts, body sensations, and past experiences that may contribute to anxiety. A therapist can also help you develop coping strategies that fit how anxiety specifically shows up in your life.

Do you accept insurance for therapy?

Yes. Kensho Psychotherapy Services accepts several insurance for therapy, including Aetna, 1199SEIU, Oxford, UnitedHealthcare (UHC), Cigna, Northwell Direct, and Lyra EAP. We also welcome private-pay (self-pay) clients.

If you’re unsure whether your insurance is accepted or have questions about using your benefits, we’d be happy to help you understand your options before scheduling your first appointment. Contact us at 347-868-7813 or click HERE, and we’ll guide you through the process.

Black and white pen-and-ink illustration of a young girl with braids and backpack standing beside her older self with an afro, hoop earrings, and a structured handbag, alongside the quote: โ€œSometimes trauma isnโ€™t what happened to you. Itโ€™s what you had to become to survive it.โ€ Symbolizing high functioning trauma. Kenshopsychotherapy Psychotherapy.

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy in Lynbrook, NY | Kensho Psychotherapy

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy For the Strong Ones

If you are the strong oneโ€”the capable oneโ€”the one everyone leans onโ€”you may not look like someone who needs therapy.

Youโ€™re accomplished. Responsible. Often the firstborn. Often the dependable one. You push through. You pray through. You handle things.

But inside, your thoughts donโ€™t slow down.

At Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook, NY, we specialize in trauma and anxiety therapy for high-functioning women and professionals across Nassau County, Valley Stream, and neighboring Queens communities. Many of our clients are Afro-Caribbean, first-generation, or raised in families where strength was expected, and emotional needs were secondary.

Black and white quote graphic about trauma and responsibility by Kensho Psychotherapy in Lynbrook, NY.

For Ambitious Women Who Carry Too Much

Most of the women who thrive in our space are in their late 30s, 40s, or approaching another milestone year, and often mid- to high-level professionals. Some are parents. Some are preparing to become parents. Many are navigating career growth, leadership roles, family expectations, their personal goals, quiet worries, fading dreams, and familial responsibilities simultaneously.

From the outside, everything looks so good.

But for most, inside feels heavy.

You may feel pressure to be grateful because youโ€™ve achieved so much. You may have grown up hearing messages like:

  • โ€œPush through.โ€

  • โ€œPray through.โ€

  • โ€œYou should be fine.โ€

  • โ€œYou have so much going for you.โ€

But strength without space to process becomes exhaustion.

Anxiety becomes the language your body uses when unprocessed grief, disappointment, responsibility, or old wounds donโ€™t have anywhere to go.

When Anxiety Is More Than Just Overthinking

Many clients come to us thinking they just have anxiety.

They describe:

  • Constant overthinking

  • Racing thoughts

  • Difficulty sleeping

  • Panic in high-stakes moments

  • Feeling like they canโ€™t relax even when nothing is wrong

As we begin therapy, we often uncover deeper layers.

Anxiety sometimes connects to:

  • Childhood pressure to perform

  • Being the firstborn who had to โ€œget it right,โ€ or “do all the things.”

  • Emotional invalidation

  • Unspoken family expectations

  • Experiences of not being defended

  • Sacrifices that were never acknowledged

What first looked like anxiety may include trauma, grief, or long-standing emotional patterns. And baybe, we are here for all of it!

Trauma That Doesnโ€™t Always Look Like Trauma

Trauma That Doesnโ€™t Always Look Like Trauma

Not all trauma is dramatic.

Sometimes it is:

  • The disappointment you swallowed

  • The expectations that shaped your identity

  • The grief you never processed

  • The loss of who you were before responsibility took over

Black and white pen-and-ink illustration of a young girl with braids and backpack standing beside her older self with an afro, hoop earrings, and a structured handbag, alongside the quote: โ€œSometimes trauma isnโ€™t what happened to you. Itโ€™s what you had to become to survive it.โ€ Symbolizing high functioning trauma. Kenshopsychotherapy Psychotherapy.

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we create a safe space for those layers to unfold. We use evidence-based approaches, including EMDR and cognitive therapy, or somatic work and mindfulness when appropriate, to help work through trauma without re-traumatizing you.

We move at your pace. We just bring the tools to do the heavy lifting.

Therapy That Is Warm, Direct, and Grounded in the Craft

We are not a factory-style clinic.ย We are also not performative โ€œInstagram therapy.โ€

Our therapists are seasoned, culturally attuned womenโ€”many with Afro-Caribbean backgroundsโ€”who value the craft of therapy.

What that means for you:

  • Warmth without coddling

  • We can kick it, but you will giveย  you homework

  • Depth without theatrics

  • Structure without rigidity

  • Professionalism and a deep respect for confidentiality

We take time to understand your full story. We help you organize your thoughts. We reflect patterns you may not see. We slow things down so you can hear yourself clearly and bring in the tools to help you do the work and heal faster.

Serving Lynbrook, Valley Stream, Nassau County & Nearby Queens

Our office is located in Lynbrook, NY, and we serve clients throughout Nassau County, including Valley Stream, as well as nearby Queens neighborhoods such as Cambria Heights and Rosedale. But since we also offer virtual therapy, we can support clients across New York State, like Brooklyn and beyond.

If you have been searching for:

  • Trauma therapy in Lynbrook

  • Anxiety therapy in Valley Stream

  • EMDR therapy in Nassau County

  • Black therapist or Caribbean therapist in NY
  • Culturally competent therapy near Queens

You are in the right place.

What to Expect When You Reach Out

You can call our office or complete the consultation request form online. We will contact you to:

  • Review your insurance and discuss deductibles or out-of-network options

  • Answer your initial questions

  • Help you determine if we are the right fit

We want you to have your questions answered before committing to therapy.

Ready to Begin?

If you are tired of holding everything togetherโ€ฆ

If anxiety is louder than it used to beโ€ฆ

If old experiences are starting to surfaceโ€ฆ

Trauma and anxiety therapy at Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook can help you untangle what feels overwhelming and reconnect with who you are beneath the pressure.

We currently have limited in-person openings in Lynbrook and virtual availability across New York.

๐Ÿ‘‰ Book a consultation or contact our office today at 347-868-7813.

what to do with holiday grief. Tips for anxiety in the holidays

Holiday Blues Unwrapped: Navigating Anxiety and Grief with the Right Skills

what to do with holiday grief. Tips for anxiety in the holidays

The holidays are not all mistletoe and jingle bells for everyone in the room. For many, this time also cranks up a mixtape of emotions, including the less sung tracks of grief and anxiety. It’s the season of contrast โ€“ joyous celebrations shadowed by the absence felt at the dinner table or the pressure to keep up with holiday expectations. But as we teach our clients, both can be okay and true simultaneously. As we navigate this season, our journey isn’t just about the sparkle and shine; it’s about understanding the hum of anxiety and the unexpected shadows of grief. It’s about vulnerability and connections, recognizing the often overlooked links to grief and anxiety, and skillfully embracing the authentic, sometimes messy, spectrum of our holiday experiences. 

Beyond the Sparkle: Holiday-Triggered Anxiety and Grief

The holiday season can act as a magnifier for both grief and anxiety. It’s not just about the absence of joy; it’s about the presence of other, more challenging emotions. Anxiety might manifest in worrying excessively about meeting expectations at work or with family as the year winds down, while holiday traditions and preparations can activate grief as it reinforces the realities of missing loved ones or changed relationships, making even simple activities like decorating feel overwhelming.

Hidden Struggles: Recognizing the Silent Signals of Seasonal Anxiety

Several symptoms or reactions related to anxiety and grief are often easily overlooked during the holidays:

  • Losing Sleep Over Deadlines: The pressure to meet holiday-related deadlines, like shopping and preparations, end-of-year projects, and financial stress, can contribute to significant anxiety and sleep disruptions. Check in with yourself. Are you having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? Are you Netflixing more than usual?
  • Avoiding Decorations: For some, setting up holiday decorations can be a painful reminder of lost loved ones, leading to avoidance. Or similar avoidance around family conversations or events. Notice when you turn down invitations and ask yourself what’s coming up and why. What’s behind the heaviness or dread that I feel?
  • Strain in Relationships: Anxiety and grief can strain relationships, as individuals may withdraw or become irritable under stress, impacting both personal and professional relationships.

Turning the Page: Embracing the Uncomfortable with Curiosity

I couldn’t end this piece without sharing some ideas of what you can do with all the difficult thoughts and feelings you are noticing. Acknowledging it is the beginning. Doing that makes the experience less daunting and often helps the intensity reach a more manageable space.ย ย Tracking your experiencesย may also help you notice emotions and patterns. You can incorporate deep breaths or your favorite activities to ground the mind and body, like workouts, walks, or talking to friends.ย 

Three Wise Moves: Managing Grief and Emotions During Festive Times

  • Acknowledge the Emotions:ย  ย Whatever you feel during the holidays is normal. Acknowledging anxiety or grief is the first step to managing them. As theย National Library of Medicineย points out, “acceptance helps [you] experience less negative emotion in response to stressors” and improves emotional health.ย 
  • Creatively Navigate Difficult Reminders: Find new ways to honor loved ones or create new traditions that feel right for you. If holiday decorations are a painful reminder, consider creating a special memory space for your loved one or choosing a different decoration style that feels more comforting. At a recent parent workshop on Managing Holiday Stress, we suggested hanging a stocking and filling it with good memories every day until Christmas. Reading those memories or sharing them as a family on Christmas can be a gift to everyone impacted by the loss. 
  • Seek Support: Remember, healing isn’t linear. Reaching out for support can be incredibly beneficial. Whether it’s talking to friends or family, joining a support group, or finally making an appointment with a therapist, getting help can provide you with the tools and resources to better manage grief and anxiety. 

You’re Not Alone in the Winter Wonderland

A gentle reminder that experiencing a range of emotions during the holidays is a shared human experience. As alone as the feelings may want you to feel at times, I can tell you, as a Psychotherapist and Mental Health Professional, many people experience heightened anxiety and grief during the holidays. Being open about your experiences with others can be a powerful way to find common ground and mutual support.

This holiday season, if you find yourself grappling with unexpected emotions of anxiety and grief, know that it’s a shared experience for many. You can find a path through this season of your life by acknowledging these feelings, creatively navigating difficult reminders, talking more about them, and asking for help. If this piece resonates with you, consider sharing it with others who might find it helpful. Remember, seeking therapy, especially if you’re experiencing anxiety, can be the missing step toward healing.ย ย 

You’re not alone, and there’s strength in seeking support.

amanda fludd, licensed psychotherapist. Has a private psychotherapy practice in Long Island New York and Coaching and Speaking Practice

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Mental Healthย consultant. She works in partnership with organizations and institutions like schools and corporations to assess an organizationโ€™s emotional health, designing customizedย mental healthย and wellness workshops to help teams navigate stress, burnout, and trauma so they can thrive well.

Thoughtful Black woman sitting in a bright, naturally lit room with a light gray couch and greenery. Text reads, โ€œYouโ€™re Hitting Those Vision Board Goals. But Is Your Healing Keeping Up?โ€ highlighting the importance of emotional healing, mental wellness, and self-care alongside personal and professional success.

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