When Life Gives You Lemons – Reframe Your Thoughts
When bad things happen in life, it’s natural for our minds to gravitate towards the negative, but it’s essential to remember that we can reframe our thoughts and view things in a way that fosters momentum. The ability to reframe our thoughts and cultivate optimism requires effort, but it’s achievable with a few simple steps that I’ll walk you through.
Just Notice. The first step in reframing a situation that may trigger negative thoughts is noticing it’s happening in the first place.
What is the conversation you are having in your head? Especially to something you are anticipating. Is your self-talk helpful? Once you can capture the thoughts that are not, you can begin to capture those lemons and reframe them into something more practical and productive for you.
Look for Unhelpful Thought Styles. We all have default thinking styles that show up occasionally, like seeing the worst in a situation or minimizing our success. When you know those unhelpful thinking patterns, you can notice them faster and challenge them. For example, if we find ourselves engaging in negative self-talk, we can reframe those thoughts and focus on more positive and realistic interpretations of the situation.
For example, in a relationship, if the thought pops up, “If my partner doesn’t agree with me on this, then they must not love me.” This type of thinking overlooks the complexities often present in relationships and the aspects that are going well, which can quickly trigger frustration, disappointment, and resentment.
What if, instead, we considered the other possibilities and changed that thought to something like, “My partner may not see eye to eye on this with me, but I know they are willing to listen and engage with me, which is a sign of their love and commitment to our relationship.” How does that sound instead? How does it compare to the first thought?
Keep A Gratitude Journal. One powerful technique is gratitude. When we focus on what we are grateful for, we shift our attention away from negative thoughts and experiences, and we teach our brains to look for the positive. This can help us feel more optimistic about the future, even under challenging circumstances.
Take a few moments daily to identify 2-3 things you’re grateful for. It could improve your overall happiness.
Avoid Worst-Case Scenario Thinking. Not everything will have a horrible outcome. I’m sure you can think of moments in your life where things looked that way, but it worked out. Even one example is good enough. So, instead of imagining the worst, focus on the present moment and take things one step at a time. This can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed by negative thoughts of possibilities (that haven’t even occurred yet) and the flood of emotions that fuels.
Cultivate your people! Surrounding yourself with the right people can make a big difference in staying optimistic and motivated. Having supportive friends or family members who are willing to listen and offer encouragement can help us feel less alone, more seen, understood, and focused. If you can’t find positive people to draw from or feel like negative only follows you- reframe your thoughts! Don’t be afraid to seek out the connections you need in your life, such as mentors, joining associations, or partnering with like-minded groups. You can cultivate your people!
Okay, I hope this was helpful. Can you please take a minute to let me know what resonated with you in the comments? I would love to hear from you!
For Retreat Details visit: http://www.renewconnectrestore.com
Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Mental Health consultant. She works in partnership with organizations and institutions, such as schools and corporations, to assess an organization’s emotional health. She designs customized mental health and wellness workshops to help teams navigate stress, burnout, and trauma, enabling them to thrive.
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