Setting Yourself Up for Failure? What Not to Do When Pursuing Your New Year’s Goals

As the New Year unfolds, setting goals is customary, just as the ball drops. Often, these are lofty ones, the kind we abandon before January even says goodbye. But what if we flipped the script this year? This year, I want to help you figure out how to create goals that resonate with a plan to achieve them. Keep reading to discover how to set goals you’ll be excited to work on all year.

This year, we will reach into our therapist’s toolbox and try mindful goal setting – a practice that focuses on what we want to achieve and how we want to feel as a means to goal attainment. Approaching goal setting mindfully means staying connected to the present, which forces you to focus on what you can control right now. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the future or constrained by our past, but mindfulness disrupts that process.

Why We Should Set Mindful Goals

Think of setting goals as your life’s GPS; they provide direction and a destination. In therapy, we use goals to address issues effectively. Without direction, it’s easy to go through life on auto-pilot doing all the things we “should,” leading to feeling disconnected, lost, or unhappy because we aren’t working on something purposeful. That’s why I encourage you to set goals – to work on something purposeful for yourself.

Where to Start

Reflect on the areas of your life that were neglected or avoided last year or the things that consistently drained your time and energy. These are clues to areas needing attention, such as health, relationships, or personal growth. Ask yourself, what do you want these areas to look like moving forward?

More Prompts for Goal Writing:

• Consider specific areas – personal, professional, health, relationships – where setting a goal could lead to positive change.
• Think about the legacy you want to leave. What goals align with this?
• Imagine what you could achieve physically, professionally, and financially without fear or limits.

This time of year is a nudge to refocus on what genuinely matters. Set goals that move you in that direction.

Mindful Goal Setting for the New Year

1. Creating an Intentional Inner Space: Begin in a calm environment. Find a quiet spot, take deep breaths, and center yourself. This helps clear your mind and sets the stage for meaningful goal setting.
2. Acknowledging and Releasing Emotions: It’s natural to feel overwhelmed or sad when reflecting on the past year or planning ahead. Mindfully recognize these feelings without judgment. Ask yourself, “Where am I now, and what can I do with this moment?” “Is this [thought or emotion] helping me.” This will support you in remaining grounded in the present.
3. Visualizing Success: Focus on how you want to feel when you achieve your goals. Use your senses to strengthen your connection to these goals, making them more tangible and exciting. This boosts your motivation and makes the journey enjoyable.
4. Focusing on Small, Manageable Steps: Concentrate on small, achievable steps that support your larger vision. This approach reduces anxiety and makes your goals more attainable.
5. Making Goals Visual: Create a visual representation of your goals, like a vision board or a detailed description. Include emotions, details, and images that embody your aspirations. Seeing your life with these goals already achieved will fuel your success and maintain your motivation throughout the year.

As we step into this New Year, embrace mindful goal setting. It’s about more than reaching a destination; it’s about enjoying the journey, growing along the way, and aligning with the life you want to live. Let’s make this year not just about unchecked resolutions but a time for meaningful growth and possibilities. 

The journey towards your goals is as important as the destination. It’s about growth, learning, and enjoying each step along the way. We’re here to walk that path with you. Our events are more than just gatherings; they’re incubators for inspiration, motivation, and actionable strategies. Check out the upcoming Vision Board Event in Brooklyn on 1.14.24: https://findyourglow2024.eventbrite.com

Our services are tailored to help you maintain focus, overcome obstacles, and celebrate every victory, big or small. Looking for a therapist book here. 

Keep striving, keep growing, and remember, we’re here to support you in every way we can. Let’s make this year unforgettable.

Warm regards-Amanda Fludd, Psychotherapist, Writer & Coach