Discovering who you are is a way to understand your purpose and reduce the anxiety and disconnect you feel in your life.
Do you ever wonder why you’re here? Or reached a point in life that you question, is this all life is about?” It’s like getting to the end of the action-packed ride you waited an hour for only to come off like, “that’s it?”
This is the same feeling many of us experience who have checked all the boxes, aligned with cultural or familial expectations, and did “all the things” only to one-day wake up with a life that’s far from what they expected.
Before we hit this realization, it sometimes gets lost in a tirade of energy-sucking complaints. It may start with minor things in life, like why won’t he pick up the laundry off the floor? To forever late to everything, or dreading going into work- finding yourself more reactive, envious, or defensive to others, to escalating unhappiness. This dynamic is more about our own avoidance of what we don’t like about ourselves. Let that marinate.
When you are out of Alignment
When we are out of alignment with what we want in life or are living in a way this is not an expression of who we are (our likes, values, etc.), it is sometimes projected outwardly as complaints, victimization, or blaming other people for something you instead need to address within yourself.
For me, purpose is redefining who you are or who you thought you needed to be. It’s finding what you love, and that’s the work I love to do with the women I work with. After all, you were created with a unique set of gifts, passions, and talents that no one else in the world can duplicate! You have to find space for that in your life, which is sometimes outside the expectations that have guided your life so far.
Your success is connected to how you leverage your strengths and navigate your own wants and everyone else’s expectations. Taking the time to discover your purpose allows you to redefine yourself in a way that brings you greater self-fulfillment and promotes emotional wellness.
When you’re doing what you feel like you must have been born to do, you can create a life you enjoy every day.
Your goals will have more meaning to you, and challenges will be naturally easier to overcome as you operate with intention and expectation instead of out of obligation and dread. This process for finding your life purpose enables you to tune in to your inner self and figure out what drives you. Take the time to find your purpose – your life will undoubtedly change for the better!
Do Not Disturb. It’s Time To Get Honest With Yourself
For this process, an open mind is optional but helpful. Some of this may seem too deep — too personal. You may ask yourself how it has anything to do with my career, purpose, or having a business. But ultimately, all of this is connected. You will need a piece of paper, something to write with, and a stretch of quiet time (anywhere from 15mins to 1 hour), so throw up that Do Not Disturb Sign on the office door and let’s do some work.
As you are doing this exercise, try to empty your mind as much as possible. A great way to help you do that is with a mindfulness practice, as the less cluttered your mind is, the easier the process will be.
Redefining Yourself and Finding Your Purpose
Rediscovering and reinventing yourself is a natural part of self development. It’s essential for honest and valuable growth.
1. Focus on your intention. Write at the top of your paper: “Finding my purpose.” This simple act sets your intention in your mind for the next hour (or whatever time you decide. You can always start with a smaller period of time and repeat the exercise when you have more time).
2. Begin listing your thoughts – even if it’s doubts about this process. As you clear your mind and focus on this process, write whatever comes to mind, no matter what it is. If you think to yourself, “This isn’t going to work,” then you would write, “This isn’t going to work.”
3. Brainstorm. List what you think your purpose or gifts, strengths, and talents may be. Feel free to incorporate a few of these questions below to help generate some ideas. Keep writing until you believe you’ve arrived at your purpose. Eventually, you will see connections. And likely notice the connection between the things you enjoy doing and the things you were meant to do in your life.
· What is the most important priority in your life? Family? Work? or something else?
· What brings you joy in those spaces, or what do you find challenging at the moment?
· Is there someone triggering you in those spaces? What types of stories are you telling yourself about this person/situation?
· What are your talents and abilities? What are you good at? (Try to get a list of 5 – 10, but don’t overthink it).
· What are your weaknesses? (Be kind to yourself here. It shouldn’t exceed your strengths list).
· Which skills would you like to develop further? Why?
· What are you passionate about / what do you love to do?
· What are you not so passionate about / what do you hate doing?
· Do you get joy from helping others? Who?
· Based on your knowledge, experiences, and what you like to do, who do you like to help?
· What problems do they have?
· What have you always wanted to do, but you haven’t done it yet?
· Who do you most enjoy being around? Adults? Children? Why?
· Do you like to travel?
· Do you want more excitement in your life?
· What are your favorite books or movies? Why?
· How do you feel about your relationships?
· What or who kicks up your anxiety or perfectionism the most? What insights can you gather from that dynamic?
· What do you value?
· How important is money?
· What are three things you would do over differently if it were up to you?
4. How will you know you’ve arrived at purpose? You’ll know. It will be the answer that fills you with the most emotion. It may even bring you to tears. The idea will resonate with you completely; simply continue writing whatever comes into your mind until you reach that point.
A few of your answers may repeat itself and that’s ok. You may also notice a bunch of nonsense, but our brain can get distracted or be a little cluttered, and this exercise sometimes exposes that. Howeve, your brain will expose your innermost dreams as well. There may be a few answers that feel good, but remember you are looking for the most meaningful to you.
When you see good ones but not “it,” this means you’re close but not entirely on target yet. You’re looking for that one idea that feels overwhelming to you. In this exercise, it’s common to take several ideas before your purpose takes shape, even as many as 400 ideas. Keep writing!
How can my life purpose benefit me?
Hopefully you’ve discovered your purpose, or have a good sense of it. Now the work is to honor it. To do that, keep it in mind consistently as you make decisions in your life. Ask yourself, “Is this in alignment with my purpose or values?” A life lived like this, with direction and intentionality, is a life with less overwhelm and more joy.
So don’t wait any longer; schedule a time to do this exercise when you know you’ll have some peace and quiet. Understanding the core reason you’re here and ensuring that it aligns with the life you have created is a beautiful gift to yourself.