Lifestyle Change

Black and white pen-and-ink illustration of a young girl with braids and backpack standing beside her older self with an afro, hoop earrings, and a structured handbag, alongside the quote: “Sometimes trauma isn’t what happened to you. It’s what you had to become to survive it.” Symbolizing high functioning trauma. Kenshopsychotherapy Psychotherapy.
Anxiety Therapy Trauma • By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy in Lynbrook, NY | Kensho Psychotherapy

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy For the Strong Ones

If you are the strong one—the capable one—the one everyone leans on—you may not look like someone who needs therapy.

You’re accomplished. Responsible. Often the firstborn. Often the dependable one. You push through. You pray through. You handle things.

But inside, your thoughts don’t slow down.

At Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook, NY, we specialize in trauma and anxiety therapy for high-functioning women and professionals across Nassau County, Valley Stream, and neighboring Queens communities. Many of our clients are Afro-Caribbean, first-generation, or raised in families where strength was expected, and emotional needs were secondary.

Black and white quote graphic about trauma and responsibility by Kensho Psychotherapy in Lynbrook, NY.

For Ambitious Women Who Carry Too Much

Most of the women who thrive in our space are in their late 30s, 40s, or approaching another milestone year, and often mid- to high-level professionals. Some are parents. Some are preparing to become parents. Many are navigating career growth, leadership roles, family expectations, their personal goals, quiet worries, fading dreams, and familial responsibilities simultaneously.

From the outside, everything looks so good.

But for most, inside feels heavy.

You may feel pressure to be grateful because you’ve achieved so much. You may have grown up hearing messages like:

  • “Push through.”

  • “Pray through.”

  • “You should be fine.”

  • “You have so much going for you.”

But strength without space to process becomes exhaustion.

Anxiety becomes the language your body uses when unprocessed grief, disappointment, responsibility, or old wounds don’t have anywhere to go.

When Anxiety Is More Than Just Overthinking

Many clients come to us thinking they just have anxiety.

They describe:

  • Constant overthinking

  • Racing thoughts

  • Difficulty sleeping

  • Panic in high-stakes moments

  • Feeling like they can’t relax even when nothing is wrong

As we begin therapy, we often uncover deeper layers.

Anxiety sometimes connects to:

  • Childhood pressure to perform

  • Being the firstborn who had to “get it right,” or “do all the things.”

  • Emotional invalidation

  • Unspoken family expectations

  • Experiences of not being defended

  • Sacrifices that were never acknowledged

What first looked like anxiety may include trauma, grief, or long-standing emotional patterns. And baybe, we are here for all of it!

Trauma That Doesn’t Always Look Like Trauma

Trauma That Doesn’t Always Look Like Trauma

Not all trauma is dramatic.

Sometimes it is:

  • The disappointment you swallowed

  • The expectations that shaped your identity

  • The grief you never processed

  • The loss of who you were before responsibility took over

Black and white pen-and-ink illustration of a young girl with braids and backpack standing beside her older self with an afro, hoop earrings, and a structured handbag, alongside the quote: “Sometimes trauma isn’t what happened to you. It’s what you had to become to survive it.” Symbolizing high functioning trauma. Kenshopsychotherapy Psychotherapy.

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we create a safe space for those layers to unfold. We use evidence-based approaches, including EMDR and cognitive therapy, or somatic work and mindfulness when appropriate, to help work through trauma without re-traumatizing you.

We move at your pace. We just bring the tools to do the heavy lifting.

Therapy That Is Warm, Direct, and Grounded in the Craft

We are not a factory-style clinic. We are also not performative “Instagram therapy.”

Our therapists are seasoned, culturally attuned women—many with Afro-Caribbean backgrounds—who value the craft of therapy.

What that means for you:

  • Warmth without coddling

  • We can kick it, but you will give  you homework

  • Depth without theatrics

  • Structure without rigidity

  • Professionalism and a deep respect for confidentiality

We take time to understand your full story. We help you organize your thoughts. We reflect patterns you may not see. We slow things down so you can hear yourself clearly and bring in the tools to help you do the work and heal faster.

Serving Lynbrook, Valley Stream, Nassau County & Nearby Queens

Our office is located in Lynbrook, NY, and we serve clients throughout Nassau County, including Valley Stream, as well as nearby Queens neighborhoods such as Cambria Heights and Rosedale. But since we also offer virtual therapy, we can support clients across New York State, like Brooklyn and beyond.

If you have been searching for:

  • Trauma therapy in Lynbrook

  • Anxiety therapy in Valley Stream

  • EMDR therapy in Nassau County

  • Black therapist or Caribbean therapist in NY

  • Culturally competent therapy near Queens

You are in the right place.

What to Expect When You Reach Out

You can call our office or complete the consultation request form online. We will contact you to:

  • Review your insurance and discuss deductibles or out-of-network options

  • Answer your initial questions

  • Help you determine if we are the right fit

We want you to have your questions answered before committing to therapy.

Ready to Begin?

If you are tired of holding everything together…

If anxiety is louder than it used to be…

If old experiences are starting to surface…

Trauma and anxiety therapy at Kensho Psychotherapy Services in Lynbrook can help you untangle what feels overwhelming and reconnect with who you are beneath the pressure.

We currently have limited in-person openings in Lynbrook and virtual availability across New York.

👉 Book a consultation or contact our office today at 347-868-7813.

NYC Therapist Personal Growth Therapy Trauma • • • • • By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

trauma-therapy-intensive-nyc-and-long-island

Trauma & PTSD Therapy in NYC, NY & Long Island, NY Heal the past, settle into the present, and reclaim your life.

Trauma therapy for adults dealing with trauma, performance anxiety, overwhelming stress, growing up the oldest, Caribbean parents, or with PTSD. Therapy for trauma is offered in person in Lynbrook, NY, and online across New York City and New York State, and EMDR Trauma Intensives.

I’m Ready.

Feeling stuck?

Living with trauma can feel like you’re trapped in a cycle your mind understands, but your body won’t let go of.

You may be doing “all the right things” — praying, journaling, talking it out, even going to therapy — and still feel triggered, overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally shut down. That’s because trauma doesn’t only live in your thoughts. Trauma lives in the nervous system.

And when your nervous system is still on alert, it can feel like you’re always bracing for something — even when nothing is happening.

This is why trauma symptoms often show up as:

  • chronic body tension or pain

  • anxiety or panic responses

  • difficulty sleeping or staying asleep

  • feeling constantly on edge or emotionally shut down

  • irritability, reactivity, or sudden overwhelm

  • feeling disconnected from yourself or others

    Book an appointment

Many people don’t realize they’re dealing with trauma symptoms because it doesn’t always look like flashbacks or start with the typical events like sexual abuse or physical abuse.

It can look like:

  • people-pleasing, perfectionism, or over-functioning

  • feeling numb, disconnected, or emotionally “flat”

  • trouble sleeping, nightmares, or waking up tired

  • chronic tension in the body (tight chest, jaw, shoulders, stomach)

  • feeling unsafe in relationships — even when someone hasn’t done anything wrong

  • intrusive memories or racing thoughts

  • trouble with authority or communicating needs without hurting others

You may look “high-functioning” on the outside, but inside, you feel exhausted. On edge. Guarded. Or like you’re only half-living.

You deserve more than survival mode.

If you’ve been searching for trauma therapy near a trauma therapist who understands the mind-body connection, or me, growing up Caribbean or the black experience, you’re not alone, and support is available with our practice, Kensho Psychotherapy Services, with virtual and in-person therapy available. Healing doesn’t require reliving the past. It requires the right approach, good coping tools, at the right pace, with the right support.  Whether it is traditional psychotherapy or EMDR therapy, which changes your relationship to trauma. 

Trauma therapy and EMDR Intensives in Long Island, NY, help you change that relationship and feel more in control of your life.

For details on booking your next therapy session, start here.

Additional Reads:

What Got You This Far, Can’t Carry You

Dear Self, It’s Not Time to Panic Journal  

How EMDR Therapy Helps Untangle These Patterns

Self-improvement By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

What Got You Here May Not Carry You Forward

This week, I found myself reflecting on the various ways I’ve navigated different seasons of life. Some seasons were messy. Some challenged the core of what I believed. And some were simply about keeping a little bit of peace in the middle of uncertain storms.

I know I’m not the only one with that story.

You’ve had your own ways of making it through. Whether it felt graceful, scary, or hard, the choices you made then helped you get where you are today. You survived. And that matters. But my question for you today is, do you still need the same skills and beliefs, that version of yourself, that carried you through those storms?

What protected you then may not be what allows you to evolve now.
woman writing on her notebook, goal writing, vision board

Photo by RF._.studio on Pexels.com

Journal Prompt for This Week:

Think about a challenging season in your life that you had to navigate. What did you do to protect yourself or the people you love? How did those choices serve you then—and how do they show up in your life now?

As you reflect, we also invite you to lean into this identity shift work in small ways. It doesn’t have to be heavy or complicated. It could be taking yourself out and:

  • Trying a pottery class or flow yoga

  • Taking a quiet walk in the park

  • Sitting by the water with a meditation

  • Joining a community group that meets regularly (my fav is black girls run)

  • Saying yes to something new and unexpected

You don’t need a big vacation or picture-perfect “self-care” routine. You need spaces that are encouraging and comfortable. That will hold your discomfort as you try on new versions of yourself. 

Sometimes, it’s the small, intentional shifts that help us understand who we are. 

Psychotherapist, Coach for Women

Closing Reflection

Your identity is not fixed. It’s layered, dynamic, and deeply worthy of care.
The tools that carried you through yesterday don’t have to define you tomorrow.

This series is an invitation to pause, reflect, and step forward with intention.
Because sometimes, it’s the smallest shifts that open the biggest doors. Make sure to leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts! 


Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R

Psychotherapist, Speaker & Coach

Your Next Read:

Understanding Your Emotional Window 

Why We Struggle With Boundaries

Dear Self, It's Not Time to Panic Journal  

EMDR Therapy Therapy Trauma • • • • By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Understanding the Window of Tolerance: Why Therapy Sometimes Feels Hard

Sometimes healing feels harder than we expect. You sit down in therapy, determined to work on yourself, and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by emotions—or, on the other hand, you feel nothing at all. That’s not failure. It’s your nervous system doing what it was designed to do: protect you.

Trauma therapists refer to this as the Window of Tolerance, a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. You can think about it as your target emotional zone. Our goal is to keep you on the right target- the place where you can safely feel and think without being knocked out by overwhelm or shut down completely when triggered, or stressed.

What Is the Window of Tolerance?

Your brain and body are designed to help you avoid danger at all costs. When the brain and body believe it is in danger (even if it's not accurate) to protect you, your nervous system will automatically kick you into one of these areas:

  • Hyperarousal (too high, aka fight/flight): Anxiety, catastrophic thinking (like something bad will happen), sleep issues, thoughts won’t stop racing, irritable, restless, can't focus, you overwork to avoid feelings. You may look driven and productive, but it's fueled by fear/stress.  May experience tightness in the chest or shoulders, tension in the jaw, stomach, back pain, or other areas of the body, or pain. 


  • Hypoarousal (too low, aka freeze/fawn: You feel numb, detached, stay in bed longer than you want to, avoid calls, procrastinate, shop/drink/smoke to escape feelings, check out emotionally when things get hard, or feel emotionally detached.  Avoidance of trauma themes, focusing on others instead of self, and long silences. Smiling, agreeable, still "on top of things" outwardly - but internally disconnected and drained.  You often hear yourself saying, "I don't know" or "it is what it is." Typically experience brain fog, fatigue, and difficulty moving. 


  • Window of tolerance (Target Zone): You feel grounded, calm, and can manage stress. You can experience insight without intellectualizing, and emotions are expressed without overwhelm. You can maintain a relaxed posture and breathe more slowly, with a willingness to be present and feel.


Most of us have a small window of tolerance—our systems get easily kicked out by stress, triggers, or old trauma patterns. One of the goals of trauma work is to keep you in that target zone where you function the best.

Why Trauma Makes It Harder

When you’ve lived through trauma, your system becomes more alert to danger. Even when the threat is gone, your brain and body act like it’s still here.

That’s why:

  • A simple sound in the night might jolt you awake like an alarm.

  • Raised voices can make you shut down instantly.

  • You swing from overdoing (hyperarousal) to avoiding (hypoarousal).

Neither response means you’re weak, broken, or not normal. They’re built-in protective strategies your nervous system uses to keep you safe.

Why Good Trauma Therapy Matters

Jumping straight into “tell me what happened” can push you outside your window and leave you feeling worse. Good trauma therapy starts by helping you build the skills to stay in your window so you can actually process what happened without retraumatizing yourself.

Think of it like the gym—you can’t expect to lift 20 pounds the first day. You build strength over time. In therapy, we build your emotional muscles: grounding tools, coping strategies, and increasing awareness of your own patterns so you learn, "oh, this is my system telling me I'm out of my window." 

That way, when you’re ready for deeper trauma work, you are more aware to handle the shifts that can occur. 

How EMDR Therapy Fits In

Talk therapy helps you develop insight and coping skills, and can provide new perspectives on challenging experiences. But sometimes, no matter how much you talk, you still feel reactive, triggered, or easily pushed out of your target zone.

That’s because some things are still tucked deep in your “closet,”  and traditional talk therapy can’t always access them.

This is where EMDR therapy, or for those who don't have a lot of time for therapy, or need to work through specific stuck points, EMDR Intensives comes in. With EMDR, we help your brain safely reprocess old trauma so it stops hijacking your present. You don’t have to relive everything—you learn to face the memories without being knocked out of your window.

Signs You Might Be Outside Your Window

  • Feeling on edge or easily startled

  • Snapping, yelling, or becoming defensive

  • Shutting down, avoiding people, or withdrawing

  • Trouble concentrating or making decisions

  • Feeling “too much” (flooded) or “too little” (numb)

  • Struggling with sleep, nightmares, or physical tension

  • Shame about how you react under stress

Building Your Window: Self-Care & Awareness

You can learn to expand your window of tolerance. Start by noticing:

  • What zone am I in? (Too high, too low, or balanced?)
  • What do I feel in my body? (Racing heart? Heavy numbness?)
  • What am I thinking? (Am I catastrophizing? Am I disconnected?)


Take notes on the Window of Tolerance Worksheet HERE. 

Simple practices to reset:

  • Grounding exercises (naming five things you see/hear/feel)

  • Movement (walking, stretching, dancing)

  • Breathwork or prayer

  • Time in community or play (yes, joy is regulation too)

  • Retreat with intention 

Every person’s “reset list” looks different. For some, it’s running, for others, journaling, organizing a closet, or spending time with people who feel safe.

EMDR Intensives: For Deeper Work

If you’ve been putting therapy off because you “don’t have time,” or if you feel stuck in the same patterns even with talk therapy, EMDR Intensives might be right for you. They give you focused time to build skills, stay in your window, and finally process what’s weighing you down.

👉 Learn more about EMDR Intensives here

Next Step: Try This Awareness Exercise

Want to get started today? Download my Window of Tolerance Worksheet—a simple guide to help increase your awareness of how you respond to emotions so you can map out your own zones, notice your triggers, and practice strategies to expand your window. It's a great tool to review with your therapist. 

Download Your Free Window of Tolerance Worksheet

Final Thought

Understanding your Window of Tolerance or how you respond to emotions gives you language for what’s happening in your body and mind. With the right tools and support, you can widen your window, build resilience, and navigate life with greater calm and clarity.

Ready for Trauma Therapy or need a new Trauma Therapist in NYC?

At Kensho Psychotherapy in Lynbrook, we have virtual and in-person appointments serving the NYC area. Booking details can be found here. 


💬 Question for you: Which part of the Window of Tolerance do you most relate to right now—the “too high,” the “too low,” or the target zone in the middle? Or what did you find helpful about this piece? Leave a comment for us! 

black woman breaking up with responsibility
EMDR Therapy Self-Care & Mental Health • • • • • By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

How to Protect Your Peace in a Relationship That’s Draining You

If you’ve ever felt like a relationship—whether with a partner, family, or even at work—is slowly draining the life out of you, you’re not alone. Many women, especially high-achieving Black and Afro-Caribbean women, come into my therapy office with this exact story. They’re smart, capable, and outwardly successful—but inside they feel exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from themselves.

In my recent video on how to protect your peace in a draining relationship, we dove into practical strategies for creating boundaries and emotional space to protect your peace. But I also want to talk about why so many of us end up here in the first place—and how approaches like EMDR therapy can help untangle the deeper roots of responsibility, expectation, and silence.

Why Women Struggle with Boundaries

For many women of color, the expectation to “hold it all together” starts early. 

You may have been the older sibling tasked with caring for others, the daughter who had to translate for her parents, or the one expected to sacrifice your needs for the family. Those patterns don’t just disappear as you age out of childhood—they follow us into friendships, marriages, work, and our identity. 

Over time, this conditioning makes it hard to say no or to choose yourself. It teaches you to dismiss your own feelings to meet the needs of others. It can leave you feeling stuck, invisible, and sometimes questioning your worth. 

The Cost of Carrying Too Much

Living in this cycle catches up to you. Women I see in therapy often describe:

  • Emotional fatigue – always giving, never replenished.

  • Anxiety and guilt – feeling bad for even wanting space.

  • Identity loss – forgetting who they are outside of roles like caretaker, partner, or leader.

  • Physical stress – headaches, tension, unexplained pains, sleepless nights from carrying unspoken burdens.

These aren’t just “relationship problems.” They are nervous system problems. They’re embedded in the body as patterns of hyper-responsibility, fear of rejection, or deep self-doubt. That’s why talk alone isn’t always enough.

How EMDR Therapy Helps Untangle These Patterns

This is where EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) comes in. Unlike traditional therapy that mainly works through conversation, EMDR helps the brain and body reprocess the old experiences that fuel today’s struggles.

For a woman who grew up being told “don’t speak up” or “don’t be too sensitive,” EMDR can target those core memories. It allows her to release the stuck emotions and rewrite the beliefs that came with them:

  • “I’m always responsible for everyone else.”

  • “I don’t have the right to say no.”

  • “My feelings don’t matter.”

Through EMDR, those constraints begin to loosen. Clients start to internalize new, healthier beliefs:

  • “I can set boundaries without guilt.”

  • “I deserve peace and rest.”

  • “I have value beyond what I give.”

The result isn’t just insight—it’s an actual shift in how the nervous system responds. That means less people-pleasing, less overthinking, and more calm confidence when protecting your peace.


Protecting Your Peace Starts with You

Even if you can’t leave a draining relationship immediately, you can start reclaiming space for yourself:

  • Notice your emotional state daily. If you feel constantly drained or disregulated, that’s a sign to pay attention.

  • Practice small boundaries. Start with a simple “no” or carving out a non-negotiable hour for yourself (or even 2 mins, girl. Start somewhere).

  • Release the silence. Journaling, therapy, or confiding in a trusted friend helps you stop carrying everything alone.

  • Consider EMDR therapy or intensives. If patterns feel too heavy to break on your own, EMDR can be the tool that helps you untangle the deeper roots and step into freedom.

Final Thoughts

Protecting your peace isn’t selfish—it’s a nod to the woman you are becoming. For women who have been conditioned to over-give, it’s also revolutionary. By learning to trust your own feelings, create emotional boundaries, and heal old wounds through approaches like EMDR therapy, you reclaim not just your peace—but your whole self.

📺 Watch the full video here

Ready to explore EMDR therapy? Learn more about traditional therapy and therapy intensives HERE or give us a call to book a consultation: 347-868-7813. 

Make sure to leave us a comment! Some things to reflect on: What stood out from this read? Where in your life are you carrying responsibility that no longer belongs to you? Or what boundary will you set this week to reclaim your energy?

Black and white pen-and-ink illustration of a young girl with braids and backpack standing beside her older self with an afro, hoop earrings, and a structured handbag, alongside the quote: “Sometimes trauma isn’t what happened to you. It’s what you had to become to survive it.” Symbolizing high functioning trauma. Kenshopsychotherapy Psychotherapy.

Trauma & Anxiety Therapy in Lynbrook, NY | Kensho Psychotherapy

If you’re constantly overthinking, carrying responsibility, and feeling overwhelmed, it may be more than stress. Our trauma …

trauma-therapy-intensive-nyc-and-long-island

Trauma & PTSD Therapy in NYC, NY & Long Island, NY Heal the past, settle into the present, and reclaim your life. …

What Got You Here May Not Carry You Forward

This week, I found myself reflecting on the various ways I’ve navigated different seasons of life. Some seasons were messy. …