Tag: trauma therapy

EMDR Therapy Therapy Black Therapist in NYC • Black Women & Mental Health • EMDR Therapy • overthinking • Therapy for Anxiety • trauma therapy April 1, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Why Old Wounds Still Hurt (Even When You Thought You Moved On)

Life spoiler alert.

You can be doing well in your life—career, family, responsibilities—and still find yourself reacting in ways that don’t make sense… aka, acting an emotional fool.

You get triggered.
And suddenly it feels big, emotional, and hard to control, like the world has wronged you, or you’re the one in the wrong and now don’t deserve the best out of life.

It’s like a full throwback moment—everything activating at once like Captain Planet and the Planeteers.
Your thoughts, emotions, old beliefs, overwhelm… all combining like:

“By your powers combined… we are your childhood wounds.”

All of that… from one moment.

Not because what just happened was that serious…
But because something deeper got activated.

When It’s Not Just About What Happened

Here’s what most people don’t realize:

When you’re triggered, you’re not just reacting to what’s happening in that moment; instead, it could be that your mind is reaching for the difficult things you carry that no one sees, but your brain still remembers.

Your reactions have deep stories.

Something in the moment feels familiar, like the tone of a supervisor, the judgmental look of your partner, the way someone responded, or even the feeling of being dismissed. And before you can catch what is happening, your nervous system connects to those older experiences, and unexpected things resurface.

It’s subtle, but powerful.

All of a sudden, it’s not just about the conversation you’re having. It starts to feel like something bigger is at stake. Like you’re not safe. Like you’re about to be embarrassed. Like you’re not enough, your needs don’t matter, or you don’t belong.

And that’s the part that catches people off guard.

Because on the outside, the moment might seem small. But internally, your body is responding to something that feels much more significant. Your brain is pulling from a stored memory—not just the present moment.

That’s a trauma response, friends, and it’s happening more than you realize. That’s why your reaction can feel so strong, so fast, and sometimes even confusing.

How Most People Handle Triggers

Most people fall into one of two patterns:

1. Avoidance

“I don’t want to go there.”
“I’m not dealing with that.”

You avoid the conversation, the feeling, or the person. Sometimes you may even freeze, where you lose your thoughts or words, disconnect from the moment and hardly feel present in your body, or get so overwhelmed with panic, you can’t show up the way you want.

And honestly—this makes sense, because triggers are uncomfortable. However, when you avoid the trigger, you also avoid the healing connected to it.

2. Confronting (but without support)

Some people say:

“I’m ready. I just need to deal with it.”

And that matters.

But going back alone can feel overwhelming or lead to reliving the experience rather than resolving it. You really need a good set of resources to help you emotionally and with the logistics of resolution.

Why You Go From 0 to 100 So Fast

This is the part that’s hard to understand.

Why do I feel like this?
Why did I react like that?
This wasn’t even that serious.
Why can’t I handle this better?

It’s the moment panic creeps in before a meeting.
When it suddenly feels like people are against you.
When you look up and realize it’s been years since you’ve moved toward what you actually want.

And you can’t quite explain how you got there.

Your body responded. Quickly. Quietly. Automatically.

But it wasn’t random.
It was your system pulling from something deeper—an older imprint, a familiar feeling, a moment your body hasn’t fully let go of yet.

So no, you’re not doing too much. You’re responding to more than what’s visible. And when you begin to understand that, something shifts. The question moves from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What is this connected to?” That’s where healing begins. That’s where you start showing up not just as the version of you that copes, but as the version of you that feels grounded, clear, and fully in control of herself again.

Why EMDR Therapy Can Help

And this is the work.

Not just understanding yourself, but actually having the space and support to work through what’s underneath those reactions so they don’t keep showing up the same way.

Because insight alone doesn’t always change the response. You can know exactly why you feel the way you do and still find yourself reacting the same way in the moment.

EMDR therapy helps your brain process what’s been stored, so those triggers don’t hit as hard or take over as quickly. You’re not just talking about it. You’re actually helping your system understand and release it. This is the freedom so many of our clients experience.

When you begin to answer that deeper question, things don’t land the same. You feel more grounded, confident, clear, and more like yourself again.

If you’re ready for that kind of work, we’d love to support you.

Work With Us – Kensho Psychotherapy (Lynbrook, NY)

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we specialize in working with high-functioning adults who feel:

Stuck in overthinking
Emotionally overwhelmed
Reactive in ways they don’t fully understand

We offer:

📍 Located in Lynbrook, NY
💻 Virtual therapy available across New York State

We currently have in-person and virtual therapy openings available.

If you’re ready to stop managing the same patterns and actually work through them, you can reach out to get started.

Common Questions

Who is EMDR therapy for?

EMDR is helpful for individuals dealing with anxiety, trauma, overthinking, self-sabotage, perfectionism, emotional triggers, and patterns that feel hard to break—even when you understand them logically.

Do you offer regular therapy or only intensives?

At Kensho Psychotherapy, we offer both. Many clients work with us for anxiety, stress, relationship challenges, and life transitions through ongoing therapy or choose intensives for more focused work. EMDR is where healing can happen in a shorter period of time.

Do you only work with women?

We primarily work with high-functioning women—especially Black and Brown professionals—but we also see men, couples, and some teens and young adults navigating anxiety, identity, and life in the practice. It’s best to give us a call, and we can discuss your situation and best fit.

Where are you located?

We are based in Lynbrook, NY, and serve clients across Nassau County, Valley Stream, and nearby NYC. We also offer virtual therapy throughout New York State.

Do you accept insurance?

Kensho Psychotherapy accepts insurance for ongoing therapy, including plans such as Aetna, 1199, Northwell Direct, Oxford, UHC, Optum, Cigna, and Lyra. We also work with clients who choose to pay privately.

EMDR intensives are not covered by insurance due to the specialized format and extended session times. These sessions are designed to go deeper in a shorter period of time and are offered as a private pay service.

Current EMDR Intensive rates:

$300 for 90 minutes
$600 for 3 hours
$1200 for 6 hours or a full-day intensive

If you’re unsure what makes the most sense for you, we’re happy to walk you through your options when you reach out.

Want to Learn More First?

If you’d rather understand how EMDR Intensives work before reaching out, you can watch the full video where I break this down in more detail.

👉 What Happens When Your Past Has A Grip On Your Present

If you are ready to book a therapy appointment, just leave your details HERE.

Amanda Fludd is a licensed trauma therapist, executive coach, and the founder of Kensho Psychotherapy in Lynbrook, NY, where she works with high-functioning women navigating anxiety, overthinking, and emotional overwhelm. Her work blends trauma-informed therapy with practical, real-life insight to help clients move beyond coping and into clarity.

She offers EMDR intensives through Kensho Psychotherapy, while her team also provides ongoing therapy for anxiety, stress, relationships, and life transitions.

Book now!!

Concept image about trauma recovery and mental health showing movement from distress to healing, representing that not every stressful experience is trauma.

Trauma Therapy in Lynbrook NY • trauma therapy March 12, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Not Everything Is Trauma (And That’s Actually Good News)

At some point in our lives, we have all had what we would classify as negative experiences, and some may have been harder to shake off and move on from than others. But what can we classify as trauma? Are we all traumatized? These days, it feels like everything is being labeled trauma.

Social media talks about trauma in relationships, trauma at work, trauma in childhood, and trauma in everyday stress. And while the increased awareness is helpful, it can also leave people wondering:

If everything is trauma… then what actually counts?

The truth is, many of us have experienced difficult, painful, or stressful moments in life. But not every hard experience becomes trauma.

And understanding that distinction can actually be empowering.

What Is Trauma? Understanding the Real Definition

Let’s look at the textbook definition of trauma. Trauma refers to an event or series of events that disrupts your sense of safety or control, physically, emotionally, and in your environment. During traumatic experiences, people often feel:

Helpless
Overwhelmed
Unsafe
Unable to process what is happening

When this happens, the experience, often sudden or unexpected, can leave a lasting imprint on the mind, body, and nervous system.

Trauma is not a one-size-fits-all experience; it can look different for everyone. With a variety of ways trauma can affect us and show up, we should always try to be non-judgmental when attempting to better understand ourselves or those around us during the recovery process.

It’s not uncommon to feel numb after a traumatic event, which can be a sign you’re in shock and struggling to process what has happened to you. This is a way our minds and bodies try to protect us when we’re in distress and don’t know how else to respond in the moment. Denial is a very common symptom you can also see. Does “it could’ve been worse” or “other people have it worse than me” sound familiar?

On that same note, intellectualizing the event, meaning trying to make sense of it by using logic and facts, is another trauma response. This can look like a person trying to cope with the reality of what they went through by denying their emotions surrounding the event and its impact on them, or even blaming themselves for it. Anger and shame are also very common. It’s normal to be angry about having to experience something you did not want to happen, to feel shame for “allowing” it to happen, or even to believe that you “deserved” it. We often hear that in the therapy practice, and those are some of the exact ideas we need to unpack to help you find relief and healing.

If you’re beginning to notice how past experiences may be showing up in your daily life, our team offers trauma and anxiety therapy in Lynbrook, NY, where we help clients understand and work through the lasting impact of overwhelming experiences.

The Three Common Types of Trauma

Although trauma is such a layered and complex experience, there are three main types that you should know about.

Acute Trauma

This comes from a single, highly distressing event.

Examples include:

Car accidents
Assault or violence
Natural disasters
Witnessing something life-threatening

One moment can shift how safe someone feels in the world.

Chronic Trauma

Chronic trauma happens when stressful or dangerous situations repeat over time.

This might include:

Ongoing abuse or intimate partner violence
Persistent bullying
Microaggressions in the workplace
Living in environments where safety is unpredictable

Instead of a single event, the body remains in a prolonged state of stress and vigilance.

Complex Trauma

Complex trauma often develops when chronic trauma begins early in life, especially within relationships.

It may involve experiences like:

Emotional neglect
Abuse
Lack of stable caregivers
Constant financial instability

Over time, these experiences can shape how someone views themselves, relationships, and the world around them.

Common Signs of Trauma in the Body and Mind

Trauma doesn’t always look the way people expect.

Sometimes people feel numb or disconnected after overwhelming events. Others may notice anger, shame, or difficulty trusting themselves or others.

Some common responses include:

Minimizing the experience (“It could have been worse.”)
Intellectualizing what happened instead of feeling it
Feeling constantly on edge or overwhelmed
Struggling with shame or self-blame

People often search for answers when they notice things like:

Why do I feel on edge all the time?
Why does my body react to stress so strongly?
Why do I keep replaying things that happened years ago?
Why do I shut down emotionally in relationships?
Why does my body feel tense even when nothing is wrong?

Many people begin searching for answers when they notice symptoms like anxiety, emotional shutdown, or feeling constantly on edge. These responses are not signs of weakness.

They are often the nervous system trying to protect itself from further danger or to regain a sense of control.

Healing Is Possible

Healing from trauma doesn’t follow a straight line, and there is no single path that works for everyone. A combination of support, resources, self-care, etc., is all useful on your healing journey. Many people also find support through therapies such as:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps people understand and shift patterns of thinking that keep them stuck in cycles of fear, shame, or self-criticism. By identifying unhelpful thought patterns, people can begin building healthier emotional and behavioral responses.

EMDR Therapy (Including Intensives)

EMDR is a treatment that’s designed to help you feel less reactive to your traumatic memories. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a trauma-focused therapy designed to help the brain reprocess difficult memories so they no longer feel as overwhelming. For some people, EMDR intensives can be a powerful option. Intensives allow you to spend extended time (longer than traditional therapy sessions) working through specific issues, so you don’t have to spread the work across months of weekly sessions.

They can be especially helpful when:

You have limited time
You want to focus deeply on one or two specific experiences
You feel stuck in therapy and want to move through something more efficiently
You’re ready for deeper work that moves beyond surface-level coping

Sometimes what’s needed isn’t just more time in therapy — it’s a more focused approach.

For many people, EMDR provides that.

A Final Thought

Even if you have not experienced these types of traumas, but have still found yourself in situations that have weighed heavily on you emotionally and mentally, you still deserve support, whether it be from loved ones or a professional. You don’t have to prove that something was “bad enough” to deserve support.

If something in your life still feels heavy, confusing, or hard to move through, it’s okay to talk about it. Support exists. And despite what people sometimes assume, therapy is far more common than many realize. You might be surprised who is quietly clicking the booking link and doing the work to heal and grow.

Maybe the next person is you.

We look forward to holding that space with you.

This piece was written in collaboration with one of our clinical interns, Illiana Townsend, who felt it was important to help readers better understand what trauma is — and what it isn’t. We’re excited to see more thoughtful work from her as she continues her training with Kensho Psychotherapy Services.

NYC Therapist Personal Growth Therapy Trauma EMDR Therapy • Is it trauma? • therapy for Black women • trauma and perfectionism • trauma therapist near me • trauma therapy January 13, 2026 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

trauma-therapy-intensive-nyc-and-long-island

Trauma & PTSD Therapy in NYC, NY & Long Island, NY Heal the past, settle into the present, and reclaim your life.

Trauma therapy for adults dealing with trauma, performance anxiety, overwhelming stress, growing up the oldest, Caribbean parents, or with PTSD. Therapy for trauma is offered in person in Lynbrook, NY, and online across New York City and New York State, and EMDR Trauma Intensives.

I’m Ready.

Feeling stuck?

Living with trauma can feel like you’re trapped in a cycle your mind understands, but your body won’t let go of.

You may be doing “all the right things” — praying, journaling, talking it out, even going to therapy — and still feel triggered, overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally shut down. That’s because trauma doesn’t only live in your thoughts. Trauma lives in the nervous system.

And when your nervous system is still on alert, it can feel like you’re always bracing for something — even when nothing is happening.

This is why trauma symptoms often show up as:

chronic body tension or pain
anxiety or panic responses
difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
feeling constantly on edge or emotionally shut down
irritability, reactivity, or sudden overwhelm
feeling disconnected from yourself or others

Book an appointment

Many people don’t realize they’re dealing with trauma symptoms because it doesn’t always look like flashbacks or start with the typical events like sexual abuse or physical abuse.

It can look like:

people-pleasing, perfectionism, or over-functioning
feeling numb, disconnected, or emotionally “flat”
trouble sleeping, nightmares, or waking up tired
chronic tension in the body (tight chest, jaw, shoulders, stomach)
feeling unsafe in relationships — even when someone hasn’t done anything wrong
intrusive memories or racing thoughts
trouble with authority or communicating needs without hurting others

You may look “high-functioning” on the outside, but inside, you feel exhausted. On edge. Guarded. Or like you’re only half-living.

You deserve more than survival mode.

If you’ve been searching for trauma therapy near a trauma therapist who understands the mind-body connection, or me, growing up Caribbean or the black experience, you’re not alone, and support is available with our practice, Kensho Psychotherapy Services, with virtual and in-person therapy available. Healing doesn’t require reliving the past. It requires the right approach, good coping tools, at the right pace, with the right support. Whether it is traditional psychotherapy or EMDR therapy, which changes your relationship to trauma.

Trauma therapy and EMDR Intensives in Long Island, NY, help you change that relationship and feel more in control of your life.

For details on booking your next therapy session, start here.

Additional Reads:

What Got You This Far, Can’t Carry You

Dear Self, It’s Not Time to Panic Journal

How EMDR Therapy Helps Untangle These Patterns

EMDR Therapy Therapy Trauma black girl healing • EMDR • trauma therapy • trauma tools • window of tolerance September 23, 2025 By AMANDA FLUDD 0 Comments

Understanding the Window of Tolerance: Why Therapy Sometimes Feels Hard

Sometimes healing feels harder than we expect. You sit down in therapy, determined to work on yourself, and suddenly you feel overwhelmed by emotions—or, on the other hand, you feel nothing at all. That’s not failure. It’s your nervous system doing what it was designed to do: protect you.

Trauma therapists refer to this as the Window of Tolerance, a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. You can think about it as your target emotional zone. Our goal is to keep you on the right target- the place where you can safely feel and think without being knocked out by overwhelm or shut down completely when triggered, or stressed.

What Is the Window of Tolerance?

Your brain and body are designed to help you avoid danger at all costs. When the brain and body believe it is in danger (even if it's not accurate) to protect you, your nervous system will automatically kick you into one of these areas:

Hyperarousal (too high, aka fight/flight): Anxiety, catastrophic thinking (like something bad will happen), sleep issues, thoughts won’t stop racing, irritable, restless, can't focus, you overwork to avoid feelings. You may look driven and productive, but it's fueled by fear/stress. May experience tightness in the chest or shoulders, tension in the jaw, stomach, back pain, or other areas of the body, or pain.

Hypoarousal (too low, aka freeze/fawn: You feel numb, detached, stay in bed longer than you want to, avoid calls, procrastinate, shop/drink/smoke to escape feelings, check out emotionally when things get hard, or feel emotionally detached. Avoidance of trauma themes, focusing on others instead of self, and long silences. Smiling, agreeable, still "on top of things" outwardly - but internally disconnected and drained. You often hear yourself saying, "I don't know" or "it is what it is." Typically experience brain fog, fatigue, and difficulty moving.

Window of tolerance (Target Zone): You feel grounded, calm, and can manage stress. You can experience insight without intellectualizing, and emotions are expressed without overwhelm. You can maintain a relaxed posture and breathe more slowly, with a willingness to be present and feel.

Most of us have a small window of tolerance—our systems get easily kicked out by stress, triggers, or old trauma patterns. One of the goals of trauma work is to keep you in that target zone where you function the best.

Why Trauma Makes It Harder

When you’ve lived through trauma, your system becomes more alert to danger. Even when the threat is gone, your brain and body act like it’s still here.

That’s why:

A simple sound in the night might jolt you awake like an alarm.
Raised voices can make you shut down instantly.
You swing from overdoing (hyperarousal) to avoiding (hypoarousal).

Neither response means you’re weak, broken, or not normal. They’re built-in protective strategies your nervous system uses to keep you safe.

Why Good Trauma Therapy Matters

Jumping straight into “tell me what happened” can push you outside your window and leave you feeling worse. Good trauma therapy starts by helping you build the skills to stay in your window so you can actually process what happened without retraumatizing yourself.

Think of it like the gym—you can’t expect to lift 20 pounds the first day. You build strength over time. In therapy, we build your emotional muscles: grounding tools, coping strategies, and increasing awareness of your own patterns so you learn, "oh, this is my system telling me I'm out of my window."

That way, when you’re ready for deeper trauma work, you are more aware to handle the shifts that can occur.

How EMDR Therapy Fits In

Talk therapy helps you develop insight and coping skills, and can provide new perspectives on challenging experiences. But sometimes, no matter how much you talk, you still feel reactive, triggered, or easily pushed out of your target zone.

That’s because some things are still tucked deep in your “closet,” and traditional talk therapy can’t always access them.

This is where EMDR therapy, or for those who don't have a lot of time for therapy, or need to work through specific stuck points, EMDR Intensives comes in. With EMDR, we help your brain safely reprocess old trauma so it stops hijacking your present. You don’t have to relive everything—you learn to face the memories without being knocked out of your window.

Signs You Might Be Outside Your Window

Feeling on edge or easily startled
Snapping, yelling, or becoming defensive
Shutting down, avoiding people, or withdrawing
Trouble concentrating or making decisions
Feeling “too much” (flooded) or “too little” (numb)
Struggling with sleep, nightmares, or physical tension
Shame about how you react under stress

Building Your Window: Self-Care & Awareness

You can learn to expand your window of tolerance. Start by noticing:

What zone am I in? (Too high, too low, or balanced?)
What do I feel in my body? (Racing heart? Heavy numbness?)
What am I thinking? (Am I catastrophizing? Am I disconnected?)

Take notes on the Window of Tolerance Worksheet HERE.

Simple practices to reset:

Grounding exercises (naming five things you see/hear/feel)
Movement (walking, stretching, dancing)
Breathwork or prayer
Time in community or play (yes, joy is regulation too)
Retreat with intention

Every person’s “reset list” looks different. For some, it’s running, for others, journaling, organizing a closet, or spending time with people who feel safe.

EMDR Intensives: For Deeper Work

If you’ve been putting therapy off because you “don’t have time,” or if you feel stuck in the same patterns even with talk therapy, EMDR Intensives might be right for you. They give you focused time to build skills, stay in your window, and finally process what’s weighing you down.

Learn more about EMDR Intensives here

Next Step: Try This Awareness Exercise

Want to get started today? Download my Window of Tolerance Worksheet—a simple guide to help increase your awareness of how you respond to emotions so you can map out your own zones, notice your triggers, and practice strategies to expand your window. It's a great tool to review with your therapist.

Download Your Free Window of Tolerance Worksheet

Final Thought

Understanding your Window of Tolerance or how you respond to emotions gives you language for what’s happening in your body and mind. With the right tools and support, you can widen your window, build resilience, and navigate life with greater calm and clarity.

Ready for Trauma Therapy or need a new Trauma Therapist in NYC?

At Kensho Psychotherapy in Lynbrook, we have virtual and in-person appointments serving the NYC area. Booking details can be found here.

Question for you: Which part of the Window of Tolerance do you most relate to right now—the “too high,” the “too low,” or the target zone in the middle? Or what did you find helpful about this piece? Leave a comment for us!