Category: Anxiety

what to do with holiday grief. Tips for anxiety in the holidays

Holiday Blues Unwrapped: Navigating Anxiety and Grief with the Right Skills

what to do with holiday grief. Tips for anxiety in the holidays

The holidays are not all mistletoe and jingle bells for everyone in the room. For many, this time also cranks up a mixtape of emotions, including the less sung tracks of grief and anxiety. It’s the season of contrast – joyous celebrations shadowed by the absence felt at the dinner table or the pressure to keep up with holiday expectations. But as we teach our clients, both can be okay and true simultaneously. As we navigate this season, our journey isn’t just about the sparkle and shine; it’s about understanding the hum of anxiety and the unexpected shadows of grief. It’s about vulnerability and connections, recognizing the often overlooked links to grief and anxiety, and skillfully embracing the authentic, sometimes messy, spectrum of our holiday experiences. 

Beyond the Sparkle: Holiday-Triggered Anxiety and Grief

The holiday season can act as a magnifier for both grief and anxiety. It’s not just about the absence of joy; it’s about the presence of other, more challenging emotions. Anxiety might manifest in worrying excessively about meeting expectations at work or with family as the year winds down, while holiday traditions and preparations can activate grief as it reinforces the realities of missing loved ones or changed relationships, making even simple activities like decorating feel overwhelming.

Hidden Struggles: Recognizing the Silent Signals of Seasonal Anxiety

Several symptoms or reactions related to anxiety and grief are often easily overlooked during the holidays:

  • Losing Sleep Over Deadlines: The pressure to meet holiday-related deadlines, like shopping and preparations, end-of-year projects, and financial stress, can contribute to significant anxiety and sleep disruptions. Check in with yourself. Are you having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep? Are you Netflixing more than usual?
  • Avoiding Decorations: For some, setting up holiday decorations can be a painful reminder of lost loved ones, leading to avoidance. Or similar avoidance around family conversations or events. Notice when you turn down invitations and ask yourself what’s coming up and why. What’s behind the heaviness or dread that I feel?
  • Strain in Relationships: Anxiety and grief can strain relationships, as individuals may withdraw or become irritable under stress, impacting both personal and professional relationships.

Turning the Page: Embracing the Uncomfortable with Curiosity

I couldn’t end this piece without sharing some ideas of what you can do with all the difficult thoughts and feelings you are noticing. Acknowledging it is the beginning. Doing that makes the experience less daunting and often helps the intensity reach a more manageable space.  Tracking your experiences may also help you notice emotions and patterns. You can incorporate deep breaths or your favorite activities to ground the mind and body, like workouts, walks, or talking to friends. 

Three Wise Moves: Managing Grief and Emotions During Festive Times

  • Acknowledge the Emotions:   Whatever you feel during the holidays is normal. Acknowledging anxiety or grief is the first step to managing them. As the National Library of Medicine points out, “acceptance helps [you] experience less negative emotion in response to stressors” and improves emotional health. 
  • Creatively Navigate Difficult Reminders: Find new ways to honor loved ones or create new traditions that feel right for you. If holiday decorations are a painful reminder, consider creating a special memory space for your loved one or choosing a different decoration style that feels more comforting. At a recent parent workshop on Managing Holiday Stress, we suggested hanging a stocking and filling it with good memories every day until Christmas. Reading those memories or sharing them as a family on Christmas can be a gift to everyone impacted by the loss. 
  • Seek Support: Remember, healing isn’t linear. Reaching out for support can be incredibly beneficial. Whether it’s talking to friends or family, joining a support group, or finally making an appointment with a therapist, getting help can provide you with the tools and resources to better manage grief and anxiety. 

You’re Not Alone in the Winter Wonderland

A gentle reminder that experiencing a range of emotions during the holidays is a shared human experience. As alone as the feelings may want you to feel at times, I can tell you, as a Psychotherapist and Mental Health Professional, many people experience heightened anxiety and grief during the holidays. Being open about your experiences with others can be a powerful way to find common ground and mutual support.

This holiday season, if you find yourself grappling with unexpected emotions of anxiety and grief, know that it’s a shared experience for many. You can find a path through this season of your life by acknowledging these feelings, creatively navigating difficult reminders, talking more about them, and asking for help. If this piece resonates with you, consider sharing it with others who might find it helpful. Remember, seeking therapy, especially if you’re experiencing anxiety, can be the missing step toward healing.  

You’re not alone, and there’s strength in seeking support.

amanda fludd, licensed psychotherapist. Has a private psychotherapy practice in Long Island New York and Coaching and Speaking Practice

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Mental Health consultant. She works in partnership with organizations and institutions like schools and corporations to assess an organization’s emotional health, designing customized mental health and wellness workshops to help teams navigate stress, burnout, and trauma so they can thrive well.

Women thinking about her negative thoughts and overwhelmed

When Life Gives You Lemons – Reframe Your Thoughts

When bad things happen in life, it’s natural for our minds to gravitate towards the negative, but it’s essential to remember that we can reframe our thoughts and view things in a way that fosters momentum. The ability to reframe our thoughts and cultivate optimism requires effort, but it’s achievable with a few simple steps that I’ll walk you through.

Just Notice. The first step in reframing a situation that may trigger negative thoughts is noticing it’s happening in the first place.

What is the conversation you are having in your head? Especially to something you are anticipating. Is your self-talk helpful? Once you can capture the thoughts that are not, you can begin to capture those lemons and reframe them into something more practical and productive for you.

When life gives you lemons reframe the possibilities

Look for Unhelpful Thought Styles. We all have default thinking styles that show up occasionally, like seeing the worst in a situation or minimizing our success. When you know those unhelpful thinking patterns, you can notice them faster and challenge them. For example, if we find ourselves engaging in negative self-talk, we can reframe those thoughts and focus on more positive and realistic interpretations of the situation.

For example, in a relationship, if the thought pops up, “If my partner doesn’t agree with me on this, then they must not love me.” This type of thinking overlooks the complexities often present in relationships and the aspects that are going well, which can quickly trigger frustration, disappointment, and resentment.

What if, instead, we considered the other possibilities and changed that thought to something like, “My partner may not see eye to eye on this with me, but I know they are willing to listen and engage with me, which is a sign of their love and commitment to our relationship.” How does that sound instead? How does it compare to the first thought? 

women journaling
Journaling at a recent Wellness Event hosted by Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R

Keep A Gratitude Journal. One powerful technique is gratitude. When we focus on what we are grateful for, we shift our attention away from negative thoughts and experiences, and we teach our brains to look for the positive. This can help us feel more optimistic about the future, even under challenging circumstances. 

Take a few moments daily to identify 2-3 things you’re grateful for. It could improve your overall happiness. 

Avoid Worst-Case Scenario Thinking. Not everything will have a horrible outcome. I’m sure you can think of moments in your life where things looked that way, but it worked out. Even one example is good enough. So, instead of imagining the worst, focus on the present moment and take things one step at a time. This can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed by negative thoughts of possibilities (that haven’t even occurred yet) and the flood of emotions that fuels.

Cultivate your people! Surrounding yourself with the right people can make a big difference in staying optimistic and motivated. Having supportive friends or family members who are willing to listen and offer encouragement can help us feel less alone, more seen, understood, and focused. If you can’t find positive people to draw from or feel like negative only follows you- reframe your thoughts! Don’t be afraid to seek out the connections you need in your life, such as mentors, joining associations, or partnering with like-minded groups. You can cultivate your people!

Okay, I hope this was helpful. Can you please take a minute to let me know what resonated with you in the comments? I would love to hear from you!

For Retreat Details visit: http://www.renewconnectrestore.com

Amanda Fludd, Psychotherapist

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R, is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Mental Health consultant. She works in partnership with organizations and institutions, such as schools and corporations, to assess an organization’s emotional health. She designs customized mental health and wellness workshops to help teams navigate stress, burnout, and trauma, enabling them to thrive.

extreme close up photo of frightened eyes

5 Actionable Steps to Overcome Fear and Anxiety

Fear is a powerful emotion that we all experience in our lives, and it is something that can be very challenging to deal with, but you can learn how to overcome fear and anxiety with a few easy to follow actionable steps.

When we are pursuing a new experience, like a new job opportunity, relationship, or starting a business, fear can hold us back. It can make us see challenges as insurmountable or make us over-prepare to the point that it slows our growth.

This post contains affiliate links. Read our full disclosure here. 

Fear and Anxiety

Quote: Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength

“Every time your fear is invited up, every time you recognize it and smile at it, your fear will lose some of its strength.”

Thich Nhat Hanh 

The best way to deal with fear is to face it. In facing it, you get to see if the story you made up around the issue is true or what you may be lacking to help you move forward. The more we avoid the problem, the more anxiety we consequently cause around it. For example, if you are constantly thinking about whether you will do well on an upcoming exam, you can’t sleep. The consequent exhaustion then triggers even more anxiety because you can’t concentrate and study, further impacting your sleep– and just like that, the worry has just become a debilitating cycle, confirming your worst fear- you won’t be ready for the exam and will fail.

Instead, the goal has to become to lean into the fear so you can disarm it. What if you acknowledged what your worry and fear was in the first place instead of reacting to it. Could we possibly find a better response so it loses some of its strength?

How do fears get in the way of being successful?

Culturally, I’ve been raised to not speak over others, and I think I have this natural resistance to being seen, and it’s my kryptonite that shows up at the wrong time. I can still recall moments sitting “at the table” with people in my profession and listening to them give their opinions on things and wanting to give my two cents but struggling within myself to speak up. 

Fear and anxiety work like that to cripple you within yourself. 

Those experiences can be triggered by various fears like the fear of judgment, failure, or the fear of being alone, and sometimes even the fear of being successful. 

When challenged in that space, it can have this counter-response that looks like overthinking, avoiding opportunities, missed deadlines, low energy, feeling disconnected from your work, procrastination, perfectionism, irritability, or indecisiveness.

How can we overcome fear and anxiety?

Fear is a built-in instinct to protect us, so we don’t want to get rid of it, but we do want to help our brains understand the moments we are safe and don’t need that fear reaction. The best way to overcome fear in that case is to repeatedly do the thing that causes it but in a safe and controlled way. During this process of exposure, coupled with positive coping skills, you can learn to ride out the fear or wave of anxiety until it naturally subsides.

Need a place to track and challenge those thoughts, and work on your wellness? Grab a Wellness Planner here.

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Mental Health and Wellness Tracker & Planner

When the emotion of fear or anxiety seems overwhelming, try to shift your focus to a healthier thought or a skill that will reduce the feelings, so it is more manageable. A stress-reduction approach like mindfulness or simply taking a break and disconnecting from the issue and going for a walk may help you better take the actions you need to be successful. I would also add to be patient and add some compassion into the process. Your mind is working to keep you safe when these responses are triggered. It can’t always tell the action you want to take isn’t a dangerous risk but one you can handle and necessary to improve your current situation.

Start your business today. Help with business formation documents

How to overcome the fears of growth as a professional

Start by identifying the fears holding you back from reaching your next level. Our thoughts are powerful, but they can be damaging and limiting when building out your dreams. The fear of failure is like the dark cloud that follows most professionals as they work on advancing their careers, especially through entrepreneurship. Rather than simply stopping people from being entrepreneurial, fear of failure can also serve as a motivator for success with a better understanding of your response dynamics. To help you better recognize and challenge your internal reactions to growth we put together some exercises to help you find those fears with the Believe Bigger Workbook available here for entrepreneurs.

Here are a few prompts from the workbook to challenge your mindset:

  1. Once you’ve identified a few of your fears, can you think of specific experiences from your life that might have formed these fears?
  2. What do you feel is holding you back from more significant success?
  3. Recall a time you were afraid. How did you move past the fear?
  4. Pause for a moment and identify and write about five of your strengths.
5 Actionable steps to overcome fear and anxiety. Prompts and steps to reduce fears and challenge your mindset.

To deepen this practice and find the root of self-sabotaging behaviors, try keeping a journal over a period of two or three weeks. Look for any patterns you notice, the source of those fears (family, culture, financial, criticism, etc), and their validity. Fear is often fed by false stories making your experience seem much worse than it really is.

In Summary:

  1. Lean into your fears. Figure out what it’s about, and if it is valid for the direction you are going.
  2. Practice stress reduction techniques like mindfulness or disconnecting from the source of distress at the moment.
  3. Shift your focus to more positive thoughts or emotions. Use your imagination or visualization to picture that same fearful experience with a positive outcome, and embrace the positive emotions you anticipate feeling with your successful outcome. The control and calm you experience during your visualization can actually help you get through the actual ordeal with more ease.
  4. Challenge your mindset around the fear with journal prompts like the one above and other exploratory resources like the Believing Bigger Workbook for Women in Business.
  5. Practice Compassion. Your mind is only trying to keep you safe.

If you are a Minority Woman in Business and would like consistent support and accountability on your goals, the Mastermind Group may be a fit for you.

Related Reads:

How to know if negative thinking is affecting your business

Why do we let ourselves down

At home treatment for children with anxiety

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R is a Licensed therapist, speaker, and Mindset Coach for high-achieving women in business. Her joy is addressing mental health on multiple levels from the boardroom to your virtual office.

Disclaimer: There are affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you decide to buy to support our tea-drinking habits at no cost to you. 

Five Toxic Thinking Styles Holding Back Your Business

We don’t always realize as women that we are the most important assets to our business, and it’s our thinking that leads (or gets in) the way of our success. The thinking patterns that drive our everyday interactions also carry over into how you show up for your business and feel about yourself. 

Why do some of the most intelligent people sabotage their success?

We all have this humble inner voice that tells us what we should be doing with our lives, who we want to be ultimately and how we should behave. It’s often influenced by our past family relationships, traumas, environmental stressors, and all the stories you’ve decided to hold on to or have trouble letting go of. Even the most brilliant woman has a story that she probably needs to release.

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Overall, the issue isn’t the stories or our mindset and thinking around our experiences, but that you’ve believed that these anxiety-provoking, limiting, or shame-based stories are true. Over time, these self-critical internal stories create an automatic narrative of how we view the world and respond to it, which also plays out with our business moves. A woman who defines her worth by her external success, and see herself as a failure when she isn’t a top performer, is more likely to be self-critical. That woman will probably feel less motivated when things don’t go as expected, may even question her whole business, and often think, “I’m not enough”. 

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Stay fresh under stress

How to Recognize Toxic Thinking Styles

Leading a business can trigger a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions. We want to focus on the more negative thoughts or cognitive distortions that typically show up when you are worried, anxious, or upset. The clients I work with often struggle with overthinking, are huge procrastinators, and are good at talking themselves out of taking risks in their business. I find it empowering to help these women recognize how their thinking patterns play a role in their motivation, frustration, sense of self, and even problems like anxiety, stress, and making decisions. 

How you can recognize if your thinking is an issue is to listen to how you speak to yourself. Do you hear a lot of self-defeating, harsh, or critical statements like “I can’t do this,” “this is going to fall apart,” or “If I don’t succeed at this, I’m a failure?” Another sign of toxic thinking is giving up easily. You are ambitious and driven with impressive goals and ideas but often focus on the failures, not the successes, and give up on them too quickly. 

How to Know If Your Negative Thinking Is Affecting Your Business

While a few common unhelpful thinking styles can keep the most ambitious and intelligent woman stagnant in their business, do you know which one is common for you? Let’s take a look at five common thinking patterns that can damage your business strategy.

The Checklist of Unhelpful Thinking Styles:

Thinking styles, toxic thinking, mindset
What is your go to negative thinking pattern?

One: Should statements are prevalent and are laced with critical messages (and usually unattainable standards) and often trigger guilt and anxiety. It involves thinking about things that you believe you “should” “ought to,” or “must” do. 

It may sound like “I should be able to handle this,” or “I should be doing better by now,” or “I ought to be able to handle this .” These statements tend to dial up the pressure and make it very difficult to keep working on those business goals when you don’t achieve what you connected to those should statements. 

Two: Catastrophizing is when you jump right to the worst possible outcome for a situation. When you are constantly worried about what could happen in a scenario, it can intensify your anxiety and minimize your actions when it comes to your business. So if I go live, no one will watch, and I’ll be an epic failure. . .so instead of leaning into the fear, you avoid and don’t go live, sound familiar? 

Three: Discounting the positives is all about discounting your accomplishments and minimizing the positive qualities about yourself. For example, if you do an excellent job with that launch you’ve worked so hard on and it goes well, you reason that it was luck, it isn’t a big deal, and fail to give yourself credit for your role in the success. 

Four: Jumping to Conclusions is when you interpret a situation without the facts. There are two parts to this thinking pattern; you can either be a mind reader or a fortuneteller. 

Mind reading is when you assume that people react negatively to you or judge you when there’s no definite evidence for it. 

Fortune-telling is when you decide things will turn out badly, “I can see it now, this just isn’t going to work” or “no one is going to come .”Have you ever done that? 

Five: Mental filter is when you dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives, aka negative Nancy. 

How many of those toxic thinking styles show up for you?

The next time you find yourself overlooking the good, procrastinating, or struggling to get out of bed to slay those goals, it could be you are engaged in a toxic thinking pattern. The good news is you can learn to shift your thinking so it’s more balanced, resilient, and encouraging to help you reach your goals and tackle the most challenging situations.

How to Deal with these Mindset Missteps  

A great place to start is by noticing when you are dwelling on any negative thoughts or when there is a significant change in how you feel (like maybe more anxious). Start to get into the habit of slowing down to reassess the situation by observing and cross-examining your thoughts with the following questions:

1. Is this thought realistic?

2. Am I basing my thoughts on facts or feelings?

3. What is the evidence for this thought? Don’t simply assume your negative thought is accurate, and don’t be afraid to prove yourself wrong. 

4. Is there another way I could look at this? 

5. What would a friend say, or is there someone else I can ask for perspective.

Over time, with practice, you won’t need to consciously ask yourself these questions to shift your negative thinking. It will become automatic, and you will better be able to catch them way before they spiral out of control and get in the way of your success.  

Remember, many of these cognitive distortions or thinking patterns are common. Still, if you believe that it is negatively impacting your follow through with your business goals or your confidence, it’s a good time to talk to us about business coaching from a mindset perspective.

We offer support in our 90-day Business Mastermind Intensive here and through several other coaching programs.

Psychotherapist, Coach for Women

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R isn’t just a Psychotherapist and a Mindset Coach for Ambitious Women who are business owners or striving to be. She is here to help you move from fear to success, master your emotions, and use your strengths to achieve the next level in your business. For 1:1 coaching, or to take a look at how she can support you, learn more at amandafludd.com/coaching.

Sources: American Psychological Association. What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Disclaimer: There are affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you decide to buy to support our tea-drinking habits at no cost to you. We only recommend quality products, but you should do your research before making a purchase.

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MINDSET SHIFTS TO DISMANTLE DOUBTS AND BUILD A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS

A lot of side hustle queens are not taught the right growth mindset to start their own business and grow their side hustle dreams to a successful business. This blog attempts to look at some of these mindset shifts and why they are essential to your success.

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Photo by RF._.studio on Pexels.com

Starting your own business can be intimidating. You’re now responsible for your own income, your own money, and your own success. If you’re used to working for someone else, you might be excited about the opportunity but anxious as hell too. The issue for most minority women in business is the road can seem lonely with few mentors, families who don’t understand your work (or look at you with a side-eye), and a closed-lipped community of colleagues when it comes to the how to’s of growing a successful empire. This is one of the reasons that I started my journey as a coach. I wanted to give women a place to know their feelings are valid and to feel free to share what they were going through. 

Before you even started your business, you probably experienced a lot of self-defeating thoughts. And, if you are like most business owners, these thoughts trigger strong emotions and reactions like procrastination, overthinking, and overwhelm that threaten your success.

HERE ARE 10 OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MINDSET SHIFTS TO BUILD A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS

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Old Mindset: I don’t know enough to do this. I’m not sure I can be as good as the next entrepreneur. 

Growth Mindset: I am unique in my approach, talents, and viewpoints. My education and expertise give me an excellent viewpoint to serve and help others. 

 We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated by purpose.  – Bob Goff

Something in you brought you to the conclusion that you have something to give or the ability to solve a problem in the first place- don’t forget that queen. As humans, we are prone to find the negative in situations, leading to self-doubt and avoidance. Is this a good idea? People won’t like it. Can I do this? 

Yes, sis, you can. You’ve been doing many things in life that have gotten you to this point. You’ve been grooming yourself this whole time for this moment, and you didn’t realize it (you are the expert in the room). We are always learning, with areas to improve on, and as you put yourself out there, you will know exactly what you need to develop to fine-tune your approach.  

Avoid comparing yourself (or your business) with other entrepreneurs and overthinking because it can work against you and create resistance instead of action. It’s ok to use others in your industry as inspiration. Explore what is working for them, how they get over their challenges, and what methods you can incorporate into your approach, but limit the time spent doing that. The amount of time you spend working on your business should be greater than the time spent learning about it or looking at what other people are doing.  

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.”  â€“ Eleanor Roosevelt

Better use of your time would be to reach out to those other bosses, and who knows, end up collaborating instead of emotionally competing with them. To expand your knowledge base, you can also enroll in continuing education classes, read business books and blogs, or join the local chamber of commerce (I just learned about them this year and a tip is to look for the more active groups in your area).

“Continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field.” â€“ Denis Waitley, motivational speaker.

Old Mindset: This is going to be great, and success will happen like right now. 

Growth Mindset: My race. My pace. 

All that pretty stuff you see out there took time: the massive followers, beautiful websites and pages, organized systems, hefty contracts, and increased income. Social media tends to make it seem like it happens quickly and right away, but this is a marathon. That means there will be days it sucks, the doubts will come, there will be days you need to walk away, but understand that greatness takes time, grind, and commitment. Even more motivating is that you’ll constantly be pushing your limits as you supersede them. 

The key here is to start from a realistic standpoint and acknowledge that your efforts will reflect your success. It’s what you want to do, how you want to do it, and the pace that works best for you. 

“…you must always be yourself and do things at your own pace. Someday, you’ll catch up.” ― Natsuki Takaya

That said, come up with great short-term goals. I want you to have the more significant milestones for your business, but it’s equally important to set short-term, attainable goals. Otherwise, you will get discouraged when your big dreams aren’t realized quickly and may give up to soon. 

Old Mindset: What If I fail?

“I knew that if I failed, I wouldn’t regret that, but I knew the one thing I might regret is not trying.” â€“ Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon.

Growth Mindset: What If I succeed? 

I don’t think I ever had the direct thought of what if I fail at the businesses. However, that fear of failure shows up with aspects of the industry like, will this launch be successful? Will I make enough to sustain my family now that I’ve left my career job, etc.? Failure may sound different for each woman in business, and it’s ok to have that experience. The next time you notice those failure-related thoughts, challenge them or get curious about them. 

Here is an exercise I do with clients. Once they notice the fear, I have them explore why they feel afraid. See, our feelings have a lot of information for us, like a friend coming over with the latest tea, we have to get curious about why they showed up. So lean into the fear, figure out what the fear is trying to tell you- determine if it is a want or a wish, and ask yourself how can I move closer to that instead of allowing the fear to trigger any avoidance. You can download the complete Fear Reflection worksheet here.  

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” â€“ Thomas Edison, inventor of the light bulb.

Take this potential fear of failure as a learning opportunity. It’s a chance to succeed at many other things like trusting yourself, exercising courage, learning a new trade, and making additional income. 

Old Mindset: I don’t know what I’m doing. 

Growth Mindset: I am doing the best that I can. I am capable of figuring things out.  

QUOTES FOR ENTREPRENEURS, WOMEN EMPOWERED QUOTES, GROWTH MINDSET QUOTES

Girl, who knows what they are doing? Many of us know how to play it off really well or figure it out. As women, we sometimes have this false narrative that we need to know everything, but is that realistic? 

When we faced audits at my prior position, we were trained to say, “I’ll get back to you” when asked something we didn’t know, and that was ok once you took time to find that answer and came back with a response. It’s OK to give yourself grace and space in that way and be clear on your limits. While people may expect a certain level of ability, you should never lie to anyone about your experience. Still, you don’t have to minimize your value either or be critical of yourself for not having an answer. Just like you’ve done your entire life, your confidence is in your ability to figure things out. 

“Women have the power to choose which path they wish to take. We have to believe great things are going to happen in our lives, and we have to do everything we can to make them happen.” – Gabriela at w4.org 

To develop your confidence, it’s a good idea to take a few minutes every day or at least reflect once a month on your achievements so far. Remind yourself of what has gone well for your side hustle and your role in that.  

Old Mindset: I have to do this by myself. It’s all on me. No one gets it.

Incfile.com

Growth Mindset: I need a tribe. 

While the responsibility of your business is yours (and no one will love that baby as you do), you can’t grow without the proper nourishment. It sounds super cheesy, but your business / the boss behind it will be as good as the company she keeps.  Find a tribe that understands the world of entrepreneurship and who can pour into you and celebrate you. You can even join a mastermind group to exchange ideas or hire a business coach whom you trust. 

“The best bosses do more than charge up people and recruit and breed energizers. They eliminate the negative because even a few bad apples and destructive acts can undermine many good people and constructive acts.”

ʉۥ Robert I. Sutton

Old Mindset: I have no idea how to start this business. 

Growth Mindset: Well, somebody does, and I am open to guidance and coaching to create a profitable business I enjoy.

As a black woman in business, I’ve struggled to find people who were open to sharing tips and strategies about their success to support mines. There is an intense competition factor (or intimidation) within minority communities. Outside of that, in larger (more white based) coaching circles, the information may be there, but not the level of connection to the psychology behind success and the skill to move someone through that process. Maybe my expectation is different with a background as a psychotherapist, but that’s how I coach and mentor- from this place of your success is my success and incorporating proven strategies to engage your Mindset to get you there. If that’s what you need, you should be working with me, and here is how.

Suppose you are worried about the legalities of a business, like how to form an LLC. In that case, I think the easiest way is to use Incfile to take the overwhelm out of the process and get all that support in one area.  

So now we’ve covered a few essential mindset shifts to dismantle the doubts and build a successful business. Which Mindset shifts do you need to make? Let me know in the comments below. 

Changing your mindset and embracing a growth mindset is not easy, but they are necessary to take your business to the next level. When I started my business, I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know logistically and how much of my skills as a therapist would be needed to thrive as an entrepreneur. That’s why I coach now and want to help my fellow sisterpreneurs move past the fears and achieve their goals. 

Psychotherapist, Mental Health Trainer, Black Therapist, Coach

Amanda Fludd, LCSW-R is a Licensed therapist and Mindset Coach for high-achieving coaches and online entrepreneurs. Her joy is helping them move past their fears to practical business goals.

Related Reads:

15 Quotes to Calm Your Anxiety as an Entrepreneur

How to lean into the fears to achieve your goals

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Trauma & PTSD Therapy in NYC, NY & Long Island, NY Heal the past, settle into the present, and reclaim your life. …

What Got You Here May Not Carry You Forward

This week, I found myself reflecting on the various ways I’ve navigated different seasons of life. Some seasons were messy. …

Understanding the Window of Tolerance: Why Therapy Sometimes Feels Hard

Sometimes healing feels harder than we expect. You sit down in therapy, determined to work on yourself, and suddenly you …